If you’ve been in the dating arena for a while, you’ve heard this advice: “if you’re not good-looking, you can still be funny.” When you think about it, this advice makes perfect sense.
Everybody likes a good laugh.
It’s no wonder funny people are attractive. You like to be around people who make you feel good. And what feeling is better than a good laugh with friends?
Humor is sexy.
If you’re not naturally funny, I have good news for you. There are a couple of habits that make you funnier (and help you stand out in the dating world, regardless of your looks).
1. The power of a smile.
Communication doesn’t happen only when you speak. Your body language plays an important role in what you want to say (that might sound obvious, but it’s easy to forget). So this advice is quite simple.
Smile.
When you smile, you set the mood for the conversation. You show you’re open and approachable, and that makes people feel comfortable around you. Not to mention that you’ll also feel more comfortable when you smile.
Humor needs the right environment.
You won’t make your date laugh when you’re talking about a serious topic. So set the right mood.
2. Think back to Dinsey movies.
Disney is a billion-dollar company because they leverage a powerful technique: storytelling. Everybody likes a great story. But now you’re wondering, “how does that make me funny?”
When you think about it, jokes are nothing but stories.
Think of funny stories from your childhood, stupid (and hopefully funny and not at all illegal) things you did as a teenager, and your small mistakes. Take what’s funny, interesting, or unexpected about them, and add a pinch of humor.
When you use your stories, people connect with you.
3. What did you do yesterday?
For 90% of people, life is the same. You wake up, go to work, come home, have dinner, and spend time with your family. Most people even have the same hobbies: watching Netflix, going to pubs, and gaming.
Sounds awfully boring, right? But what if I told you there’s humor in these routine events?
Humor comes from relatable events.
Look for things that everybody experiences but don’t talk about (like using your phone while you poop). That gives you a sense of confidentiality with your audience, and that’s what makes it funny.
Find these strange, secret, or taboo habits that everybody does.
4. Leverage small details.
Comedy comes from small details: the right timing, a secret look, or a wink. They might seem small, but that’s the difference between a great joke and a failed one.
Don’t overlook details.
If you watch TikTok, you know what I’m talking about. Most comedy videos leverage timing, either with music or lip-syncing. The series The Office uses looks that say, “what the hell is going on?” without a word.
5. Fake it until you make it.
Don’t worry if you’re not as funny and charismatic as Jennifer Lawrence at first. Humor is like any other skill: you’re not born with it.
You have to practice.
That’s why the saying “fake it until you make it” is true. You don’t need to master all the techniques before you start trying. You can tell one joke, see how that goes, and adjust.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Here’s the thing with practice: you’ll make mistakes. You’ll tell a bad joke, or people just won’t think you’re funny. But guess what? That also happens with any other skill. And every mistake gives you information on where to improve.
It’s not sexy, but it’s true. Practice helps you master any skill, and comedy is no exception. You can achieve almost anything when you put in enough hours.
Bonus: don’t push it.
This one is a bonus because it’s not really a practical tip, but more of a mindset shift.
There’s a fine line between funny and desperate (and trust me: you don’t want to cross it). Do you know that guy who always tries too hard to be funny and comes off as annoying instead?
Don’t be that guy.
Humor has this intangible aura to it. You can’t fake it, and you can’t force it. That’s what makes it so tricky: it has to happen naturally.
So if you feel like you’re trying too much or that it just isn’t working take a step back. It’s best to miss the joke than to make your date walk away while they roll their eyes (and never hear from them again).
Humans may seem complex, but it’s safe to say everybody likes to be around funny people.
Humor doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get the girl, but it takes you one step closer. Adult life is already full of problems. That’s why your dates should be as fun as possible.
You don’t need to wear a clown costume to make your date laugh. These small techniques can help you get started. But remember: you won’t change your personality overnight. If you’re not funny, don’t expect to become the next Jennifer Lawrence in days.
Let me leave you with one last piece of advice: relationships are all about connection. Humor can help, but if you’re not comfortable, don’t force it. Your date has to connect with who you are, not with a forced version of you.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
Escape the Act Like a Man Box | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men | Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Race | The First Myth of the Patriarchy: The Acorn on the Pillow |
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