Don’t settle. Here’s how to attract epic love in 5 practical steps.
Did you spend another weekend night alone, eating straight out of a carton of Chunky Monkey? Or maybe you go out and party with friends, but still wish you had someone to kiss at midnight.
If you’re tired of spending so much time alone, and you want to find lasting love, you can make it happen. You can find love in the months ahead. No excuses! I don’t care how old or out of shape you are, how dismal your relationship past has been, or whether you live in a small town without any eligible singles. It’s never too late to find lasting love.
You’ll need a positive mindset and you probably need to tweak some of your dating practices. With a little effort, you’ll soon be in a relationship with the love of your life. Really. (Note: this article was written for a man looking for a girlfriend, but the same advice applies to anyone looking for lasting love.)
5 steps for finding EPIC love this year:
1. If the chemistry is a ten, run away.
When the attraction is off the charts, it’s almost impossible to be yourself. There’s a good chance you’ll put her on a pedestal, which will leave you in a disempowered position. She can only look down at you, which is not what you want.
I’m not saying attraction is not important in a relationship. Of course it is, but not when you lose yourself. So, stop looking for a ’10’. Pay closer attention to the “maybes,” not the “off-the-charts-hotties.” Those relationships have a greater chance at succeeding.
2. Look for a best friend first.
If you’re searching for a long-term relationship, you’ll want a best friend, someone you can trust, confide in, and accept without trying to change. A relationship built on respect and common interests will have a stronger chance of success. And the fun factor will be so much higher. A good laugh with your partner will help you weather many storms. So, take time to build a friendship before you let attraction blind you to potential red flags. Attraction can grow, but a relationship built on a weak foundation will just crash and burn.
3. Make sure she’s not a fair weather girlfriend.
You know those friends who always hang out with you to do fun things? They show up when things are going well, but when things fall apart, they’re nowhere to be found. Those are not your real friends. A crisis brings out your truest friends. They are the ones who rise to the occasion.
Same holds true for a good girlfriend. She cares about you, through good times and bad. She’s there to give you a head massage and bring you chicken soup when you have a bad cold. She comforts you when your parent is in the hospital. She shows up when life gets hard. Because let’s face it, this is real life. Stuff happens. Choose the partner who is there for you when the sh*^#t hits the fan.
4. Learn how to express your feelings and needs.
Don’t stuff your emotions. Women are not mind readers. Let her know what you need from her and ask her what she needs from you. And speak your truth from day one. It’s not always easy. I have spent the past few decades perfecting the art of honest and compassionate communication, especially when feelings are hurt.
The quality of my relationships has improved and deepened in ways I never dreamed possible. So, consistently express your feelings and needs if you want a long-lasting authentic relationship.
5. Have a love vision.
Imagine your future girlfriend—not what she looks like, but what it will FEEL like to be with her. What will her personality be like? What activities will you enjoy together? When you have clarity about how you’ll feel in her presence, you’ll recognize her when she shows up in your life.
Yeah, I know, it sounds a little woo-woo, but this is based on solid evidence. It’s all about clarity and focus.
Without clarity, it’s hard to bring anything into your life. Try this: walk into Dunkin’ Donuts and ask for a donut. You might get one that’s chocolate covered, strawberry crème-filled, or one with colored sprinkles. Chances are, the donut will taste okay, but you won’t get what you really wanted.
But what if you asked for exactly what you’re craving—a classic glazed croissant donut with chocolaty fudge filling, topped with white and chocolate icing drizzle? (Is your mouth watering? Mine is!). You’d get exactly what you wanted. And you’d be so much happier. You get the picture.
Imagine this: It’s a year from now, midnight on New Year’s Eve. You’re in the most amazing relationship of your life, giving your girlfriend a kiss that makes her toes curl.
You can begin to attract true lasting love today by taking these five steps. One step at a time ’til the next auld lang syne, and the kiss of a lifetime.
Happy New Year, Happy New Love!
What steps will you take to find lasting love this year? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.