5 Telltale Signs They’re Cheating On You

As much as we all like to think we would know if our significant other was cheating on us, the signs aren’t always glaringly obvious. Some cheaters do a good job of hiding their betrayals, sometimes for months or even years.

But in my experience, many cheaters exhibit similar behavior. And if we know the red flags, it can sometimes make it harder for an affair to fly under the radar.

Here are five telltale signs they’re cheating on you.

1. Their Routine Changes — And So Does Their Personality

One of the most obvious signs that your partner is having an affair is changes in their routine. They start coming home later or suddenly become busy when they weren’t before. Sometimes they have an explanation, and other times, they don’t.

It’s not just changes in their routine, either. They might suddenly have new interests that you’ve never heard of before, which could be because they’re taking an interest in the hobbies of the other person they’re seeing. At times, it might feel like you’re not even talking to your significant other anymore. Your partner might also start showing new personality traits, such as moodiness or impatience.

Routine and personality changes are one of the most apparent signs they’re cheating on you. But it’s easy to think that things are shifting in the relationship. You might assume the honeymoon phase is wearing off or they’re just evolving, when the reality is that they’re cheating.

2. They Give You Vague Answers When You Question Them

If you ever question where a cheater was or what they were doing, they will generally start giving you the vaguest answers ever. This is often because a lot of cheaters don’t like to lie when they first begin cheating, so instead, they omit the truth.

For example, if you ask, “Where were you last night?,” a cheater might respond with things like:

“Out and about.”
“I was out.”
“I had a thing.”
“It’s a long story.”

They’ll often try to switch the subject quickly because they don’t want you to dig deeper and ask them any follow-up questions.

Tip: Don’t ignore this pattern of cheating. Always ask follow-up questions.

3. They Overshare Details

A lot of the time, a cheater who has been questioned after being overly vague about their whereabouts will begin to overshare details to prevent you from questioning them again. They might have elaborate excuses for why they had to work more hours, or how they had to help their friend with something because x, y, and z happened.

This subtle sign of cheating can be harder to recognize, because let’s be honest. We all want to believe our significant other would never lie to us. And they were just vague and now they’re not being vague. In fact, they’re overcompensating.

At first, you believe them because you want to believe them. But over time, you start to see through their lies — or at some point, you find out that something actually didn’t happen after they claimed it did. And sometimes, our gut instincts tell us that their words just aren’t adding up.

4. Their Phone Gets Locked Down

Let’s be honest: A lot of us like privacy. If someone is constantly trying to snoop through our phones, that’s a relationship red flag. We all deserve to be trusted in our relationships.

But if your partner’s phone becomes locked down and they start acting super suspicious whenever they’re around their phone, this can be one of the biggest signs they’re cheating on you.

If your significant other is cheating through DMs, texts, or phone calls, they’re probably going to act nervous when you’re around their phone. It might be noticeable if they used to not worry about you being around their phone, and now they do. It can be a big red flag of cheating.

While it’s important to respect someone’s privacy when it comes to their phone, it’s hard not to want to snoop if your partner’s behavior around their phone makes you suspect they could be cheating.

5. They Start Distancing Themselves From You

This sign of cheating is one that many of us notice over time: your partner doesn’t seem as attached to you as they once were. They don’t share personal things, and they don’t show interest in what you have to say either.

There just seems to be this distance between the two of you. It gets to the point where talking to them feels like pulling teeth.

Ultimately, your partner is falling out of love with you and in love with someone else. It happens slowly until the whole relationship crumbles — and by then, it’s just too late.

Are They Cheating On You?

If you notice any of these signs of cheating, it’s easy to jump to conclusions. Every relationship is different, and noticing one of these signs doesn’t automatically mean they’re cheating.

But if your gut instinct tells you something isn’t right, it’s essential to listen. If something feels “off,” it probably is. If you don’t trust your partner, it’s best to reevaluate your relationship. You deserve to be with someone you trust.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.