Even the most blissful relationship has bumps in the road now and then. It takes commitment, communication and effort from both parties to make it last.
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Both partners share in the responsibility of nurturing the relationship.
While I would never claim to speak for all women, I can tell you that when women get together and talk, there is rarely a topic that’s off limits. Especially when it comes to relationships. Over the years, I’ve had many “girl talks” over cocktails, chocolate, smiles and tears, and there are several topics that seemed to be a common thread among them all. While both partners share in the responsibility of nurturing the relationship, men and women tend to think very differently. So, let me help you out with five things men can do (for your part) to contribute to a happy relationship.
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1.Be Honest
I don’t know why this one is tough. It seems some men have a tough time telling the truth even over little things. I have asked some of my male friends about this, and the most common response is that they are afraid of the woman’s reaction. I hate to say it, but that does not make lying acceptable. If you are concerned about her reactions there are one of two issues: You are either doing something that you shouldn’t be and–if that is the case–stop it. Or, she overacts about things or has a very different value system that is not compatible with you. In that case, she may not be the one. Or, see #2.
2.Communicate
So much conflict can be avoided with simple communication. I know this does not come naturally for most of you, but it is a vital component to the success of any relationship. If you are going to be late, please call and let her know BEFORE you are already late. If you are upset, please let her know. Even if you are not ready to talk about it, acknowledge that there is something going on, and you need some time to process it. If it has nothing to do with her–make sure you tell her that. If it does, make time to discuss the issue with her, so it does not escalate into something bigger. Men tend to go silent when they are struggling whereas women talk things through. You need to find a balance that allows you your space but does not make the woman feel shut out.
3.Show Her You Care
Making a woman feel special does not have to be a grand gesture. Send her a mid-day text to let her know you are thinking of her or maybe leave a note on the bathroom mirror. Bring her flowers “just because”. Those flowers do not have to be a hundred dollar bouquet from a florist; it can be a $10 bouquet you pick up at the store or even hand-picked flowers from the yard. It’s the thought that makes us melt, not the price tag.
4.Express Non-Sexual Affection
Schedule date nights at least once a month where you get dressed up and go out.
Sex is a very important part of a relationship, but while men can put in the key and go, women need to warm up a bit. I’m not talking about just foreplay immediately preceding sex. Start earlier in the day or even on days when you know nothing else will happen. Holding her hand in public, caressing the small of her back while you are just chatting, sneaking up behind her and kissing the back of her neck, running your fingers along her arm. Loving touches of affection outside of the bedroom fuel the romance and enhance sensuality. Try it, I think you will see that it pays off.
5.Keep the Courtship Going
So many couples move quickly from the dating phase and settle into the mundane. Whether you’ve been together for one month, one year or ten years, keep treating each other like you just fell in love. While it may be fun to stay in your sweats and watch movies on the sofa, don’t let that be a pattern. Schedule date nights at least once a month where you get dressed up and go out. Open the car door for her, pull out the chair, kiss her hand. That way there is always something fun to look forward to in the midst of daily life.
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Even the most blissful relationships have bumps in the road now and then. It takes commitment, communication and effort from both parties to make it last. Start implementing these tips right away and you are already ahead of most.
I am an entrepreneur by nature but have also served time in the corporate world. I have been riding the roller coaster of life and it finally brought me to my dream home on Maui. I love to help people identify and overcome the obstacles that are preventing them from getting from where they are to where they want to be. Visit my website at www.CherieDasmacci.com.
