This blog post is based on my opinions thoughts and thinking.
Rejection hurts.
No matter how prepared you are for it, no matter how much you want it, and no matter how close you are to the goal or person who is rejecting you, rejection will always hurt.
You can’t eliminate the feeling of pain and insecurity that comes from being rejected by society, friends, and romantic partners alike.
I’m writing this because I myself have had a lot of friends who have been rejected by their significant others, and for my own personal development, I’ve wanted to put my unconscious thoughts about being rejected straight on paper.
Here are 5 things I’ve learned from rejection, in no particular order, that can help you cope with the pain:
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1.You can’t let it make you bitter.
When someone rejects you, you tend to feel a deep sense of loss and pain.
This pain will move toward bitterness if you let it fester for too long.
A lot of things can happen that make you bitter: losing friends, failing a class, getting fired from a job, or being rejected by a potential mate.
The problem with letting the negative feelings build-up is that they will come out in other aspects of your life.
For example, if you let your bitterness towards people who rejected you turn into hatred, it will come out in the way that you interact with those people: with snarky comments and constant criticism.
You’ll notice this when the person you are bitter about tries to make up for it by being nice to you:
“Why don’t you treat me like a friend again?” “I’m not mad at you anymore.”
The bitterness won’t go away, and it will only get worse from there.
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2. It’s a learning and growing experience.
The goal of rejection is not to hurt you.
Rejection hurts everyone involved because it is an action that closes off the possibility of future interaction between the two people.
This is why, when someone rejects you, the right reaction is not “I hate you and everything about you.”
The right reaction is to learn and grow.
Use the experience of being rejected to learn about yourself and how you can improve yourself.
With the knowledge you gain from your experiences, you can grow into a better person, one who is better able to deal with rejection.
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3. It’s normal, even for seemingly perfect human beings.
When we think of our idols or people whom we look up to, we tend to think of them as invincible.
They can do whatever they want, and nothing will stop them.
Even the most perfect human beings have been rejected.
If you’re in a bad place emotionally and mentally, any bit of positivity that you can hold onto is good for you.
The concept that even the best people in the world get rejected is one of those bits of positivity.
Rejection is a normal part of being human, and it isn’t just reserved for you.
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4. Be your own best friend.
Everyone needs a friend they can trust.
As much as you’d like to, friends and loved ones can’t be there for you at all times.
This is why we need to learn how to be our own best friends in the moments when we feel pain due to rejection.
When you’re upset, take a moment to ask yourself, “What do I need to do in order to feel better?”
Someone who is their own best friend puts themselves first from time to time.
Being your own best friend can be as simple as making a cup of tea, going for a walk outside, or cuddling with a stuffed animal.
It doesn’t have to be anything big or luxurious — sometimes all we need are the little things.
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5. There is no such thing as forever.
We establish relationships based on the possibility of a future together when both parties are attached and dedicated to each other.
Sometimes, one person’s heart and mind will change toward their significant other.
In this scenario, it’s normal to feel a sense of sadness or loss if the person who meant so much to you doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.
But remember: It doesn’t have to mean the end of that relationship.
Sometimes, a breakup can be the beginning of something new.
Even the relationships that seem impossible to mend can eventually be renewed with time, and this starts when you decide to move on.
Sometimes, it’s not worth holding onto a relationship that is going nowhere.
Those are some of the things I’ve learned from rejection that you can use when you’re in pain from being rejected.
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!
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Well, this is a blog post based on opinion, not a piece of professional advice.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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