5 Types of Guys to Never Fall in Love With

You can fall in love with anyone. But if you want to fall in love with someone you’ll have a healthy relationship with, it’s important to make sure that you’re choosing the right person. When sparks fly with the wrong person, it can lead to a toxic relationship.

A healthy relationship isn’t formed through intensity. It’s built on green flags like consistency, stability, and mutual respect. If you want a long-term love that can stand the test of time, it’s best to avoid the wrong types of men.

Some guys can seem charming at first, but if you fall in love with them, it will lead to a relationship filled with unhappiness, resentment, and even abuse. It’s essential to recognize the red flags early on to prevent months or even years of heartbreak.

Here are five types of men to never fall in love with if you want to be happy.

1. The Guy Who Won’t Fully Commit

Signs:

He says things like, “Let’s just see what happens,” or “Titles ruin good things.”
He enjoys the perks of being in a relationship without actually committing to one.
He runs any time you try to have a serious conversation.
He says talking about the future will make things too complicated.

Why He’s a Bad Bet:

A guy who doesn’t want to commit would rather keep you in a situationship for months or even years than offer you the stability of an exclusive relationship. You’ll feel like you’re on a constant emotional rollercoaster. He offers you some emotional investment, but he’s also keeping his options open.

Eventually, the situationship will hit a dead end, and you’ll move on with a broken heart.

2. The Manipulator Who Love-Bombs You

Signs:

He tells you he’s never met anyone like you before. “You’re my soulmate.”
It feels intense early on.
He showers you with compliments, gifts, and attention early on.
It almost feels too good to be true.
He starts acting hot-and-cold.

Why He’s a Bad Bet:

Love-bombing is a hallmark sign of manipulation, control, and narcissism. It can feel like butterflies early on because everything is so intense. But once the love-bomber hooks you, they’ll put you through a cycle of discarding you, withdrawing from you, and then coming back and repeating the cycle all over again.

This cycle can be highly addictive, emotionally taxing, and heartbreaking. Over time, your self-esteem will take a hit and you’ll be yearning for everything to go back to how it was in the beginning.

3. The Guy Who Trash Talks His Exes

Signs:

He says every ex was “crazy,” “toxic,” or “drama.”
He was the victim in every past relationship.
He gets defensive when you ask for more details about his role in any of the relationships ending.

Why He’s a Bad Bet:

If he doesn’t take any credit for any past relationships, he either hasn’t learned from past experiences or he’s a narcissist who always plays the victim.

In either case, he’s going to tell his future partners the same thing about you someday: he’ll say you were the crazy one, even if he’s the reason the relationship eventually ends (and he probably will be).

4. The Workaholic Guy

Signs:

His job always comes first.
He constantly cancels plans with you for work.
Even when you’re together, he’s still mentally at the office.
He hates being on vacation or having time off.
He’s addicted to work.

Why He’s a Bad Bet:

Ambitious and career-oriented men tend to use their jobs to mask their emotional unavailability. In some cases, they may even be so obsessed with work because they’re having an affair.

If you want a healthy, happy relationship, ditch the workaholic. Otherwise, it will end in frustration of always being an afterthought or in heartbreak when you find out your partner has been cheating.

5. The Guy Who Needs to be “Fixed”

Signs:

He’s always in the middle of a crisis — and he always needs your help.
It feels like you’re his therapist… or his mother.
He claims to be ambitious, but he never puts his actions into words.
It feels like you’re waiting for him to “get better.”

Why He’s a Bad Bet:

It’s important to put your Florence Nightingale card away. As much as you might want to fix or save someone, the truth is that you can’t. A relationship built on fixing someone tends to be very draining, and the emotional investment, time, and effort are often unequal. You’ll give more than you’ll ever receive from him, which will lead to long-term resentment. And when you’ve finally “fixed” him, he’ll move onto someone else.

The Bottom Line

While the heart may want what it wants, the truth is that falling in love with the wrong person can lead to months, years, or even decades of heartache. Avoiding these five types of guys and investing your time in men who are worth your time can help you avoid a painful relationship.

Wondering who’s worth your time? Check out 5 Guys Every Woman Should Date in Her Lifetime.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.