During the global pandemic, many of us are expected to keep in touch our parents regularly. Especially since their age or pre-existing medical condition can make them more vulnerable to COVID-19.
As relaxing as staying home should sound, the reality isn’t as peaceful.
Being stuck at home can be very stressful for many dealing with extended family. Can we all agree the generation gap is real?
Academic researchers conducted a qualitative longitudinal study of generations survey data. Findings show six main reasons for conflict between parents and adult children:
- communication and interaction style
- habits and lifestyle choices
- child-rearing practices and values
- politics, religion, and ideology
- work habits and orientations
- household standards or maintenance
Interestingly, parents and adult children had varying views on the most common conflict. Parents listed habits and lifestyle choices more often. On the other hand, adult children mostly reported communication and interaction style as the source of conflict.
No matter what the reason of the conflict is, it is not worth living unhappily.
. . .
This article aims to facilitate in lessening conflicts with parents during this unpleasant time.
1. Save your energy for another day
Yes, exactly this. By learning to stay calm, patient, and collected, you can free yourself from wasting your energy. The advantage in accomplishing this, is it does not affect your mood and ruin the rest of your day.
I think its important to address that there is nothing to gain from trying to argue your beliefs to your parents who might be a whole generation older than you.
Whether your parents agree with you or not, should not set the stage for an energy-draining disagreement. It’s just not worth it.
“Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn’t measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It’s not winning battles that makes you happy, but it’s how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go.” — C. JoyBell C.
In fact, leaving things for a while, and going back to it later, helps in clearing your mind. With a clearer mind, you can make effective decisions that you are less likely to regret later.
2. Empathize with them
Take a step back. Analyze where your parents coming from. Consider various factors as to why they are acting the way they are.
Maybe the pandemic is just making everyone a little more paranoid?
3. Lower your expectations
Your parents have already given you life.
With any kind of relationship, lowering your expectations from someone can provide more room for surprises, and less for disappointments.
Just do not expect much and go with it.
4. Be grateful, and less entitled
If you are healthy, be grateful. If you have a partner, be grateful. If you have a family, be grateful. If you are alive, be grateful.
There are a million reasons to be grateful for.
If your parents cannot provide you with some privileges, then find it within yourself to achieve it through other means. There is always a solution.
5. No matter what — DO NOT YELL
Yelling only heightens a situation and can potentially cause unnecessary drama. Just drop it, and walk away.
Even if walking away means just going to another room, or avoiding their phone calls when you feel angry.
The key takeaway here is that we can all take a few steps to be the “better person” in any relationship. Even if that means swallowing our pride.
Drop your ego, count your blessings, and focus on living a happy life for the sake of yourself and your family.
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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Unsplash