
Relationships matter, we want it, desire, and even crave having that significant partner.
No matter how successful one is in life. They spend time looking or searching for the right relationship.
If you are fortunate and you find a relationship that is right for you, much time is spent unfortunately in comparing yours with that of your social circle and unfortunately at times criticizing what you don’t like about the relationship.
Relationships are meant to enhance our physical, social, mental, and emotional well-being and being in a satisfying and happy relationship adds to all other aspects of our lives.
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There are many persons who enter a relationship for the wrong reasons and doing so plagues both themself and their partner to a period of unhappiness, till one makes the difficult decision to leave or end the relationship.
Here are just a few of the wrong reasons why people enter a relationship
Loneliness — We all experience loneliness from time to time.
Rushing into a relationship because of this, doesn’t necessarily quell the loneliness, as you make another person responsible for fulfilling this need all the time.
Learning to enjoy alone time is important and loneliness can be a signal to reach out and volunteer, learn a new skill or some other thing rather than enter a relationship with the expectation that your partner can be there all the time for you.
It’s an impossible feat and can contribute to your partner and you feeling incredibly stressed in the relationship to constantly meet this need.
Age — The age factor is more critical for women than men.
Western society generally determine the safe and most fertile time for childbearing is in the later 20’s to early 30s. Women often experience anxiety if they wish to have a family and are not married by their early 30’s. The health risk increases by having a child in later years. Many times woman rush into a marriage because of the maternal instinct desire to have children, without giving at times careful consideration to the partner they are starting a family with.
Convenience — We don’t like to admit this but quite often we enter a relationship with someone because it is convenient.
They can pay all the bills; they can take you out to dinner every night.
They can pay for all your personal care. Though there isn’t any affection, it seems practical.
They can give you a comfortable life and so you may marry them, only later in life to realize that despite the material comforts you are extremely unhappy.
It may be that they are often occupied working or they may not be someone who can offer any emotional intimacy in the relationship.
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Family pressure — Movies are common with this storyline. The parents believe the child is of marriageable age and so they do an arranged meeting for a suitor as they believe by now the child should be married.
Many times, persons enter a relationship because of the continuous questions and pressure by relatives urging them to marry and have children.
Unfortunately, around the holidays it is even more intense, especially if you are the one attending family functions without a significant other.
Spiritual background — Depending on your religious belief you may not believe in sex before marriage and so there is the rush into marriage as you believe that you should marry. This rush for entering marriage based on the desire for sexual intimacy dooms many a couples to an early divorce as this is not a good reason for getting married.
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Relationships are dynamic and a great relationship paves the way for having a great life.
However, if you are interested in a long-term relationship entering one for the reasons stated above and even more can doom the relationship to its demise before it has even begun.
So next time you think about being in a relationship consider why you want to be in one and if you can’t fully commit to such, it might be best to wait and take time to find and also be the person someone would be happy to marry.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Brett Jordan on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer