Relationships fall into a natural ebb and flow, and that means communication and intimacy might be more intense at certain times than others. And that’s totally okay. However, having a partner who becomes distant can also be a sign of trouble within the relationship, no matter how far along or how close you are.
Whether you feel like your partner has been distant recently or you aren’t quite sure, here are a few reasons why that might be.
1. Differing Love Languages
Sometimes, distant relationships don’t always result from an actual distance — sometimes it results from a sort of miscommunication of love languages and attraction styles. If you don’t know your love language or your partner’s, it could be a great idea to figure it out so you can discuss the ways you may be missing one another’s needs.
You may discover that your partner isn’t being distant at all — perhaps they’re just expressing their love for you in a way you don’t notice as much, and a bit of effort might help to mend that.
2. Different Energy Levels
Aside from love languages, another factor might be differing energy levels between partners. If you feel like your partner has been less affectionate or excited recently, take a look at how they behave in their other relationships. Are they enthusiastic about other aspects of their life?
Try to take note of their behavior in other places, and see if it applies to your relationship. You may notice that one of you has different workloads or different expectations, and that could even lead to resentment in some cases. This is always something that’s good to be aware of early on.
3. Distrust
Although this might have more to do with past baggage, especially in newer relationships, having an avoidant attachment style or a general distrust of others can lead to possible distance in relationships. It can be a good idea to open up an honest dialogue about trust and honesty in your relationship, as this can help quell any fears and distrust either of you might have.
Even if the source of distrust was born out of a conflict in the relationship, it’s still worth examining — perhaps even more so.
4. Poor Communication Patterns
Sometimes, the distance you feel in a relationship with someone else can be a result of communication issues. Communication is one of the most important parts of building a healthy relationship with somebody, so it’s important to value those skills heavily. Whether one of you has a more anxious attachment style, a more avoidant style, difficulty communicating, or any other gap in communication with others, that can cause difficulty and distance.
Although there is no easy fix to this, trying to be open, honest, and kind should be among your top priorities, not just in your romantic relationships, but throughout all of life.
5. Gaps in Attraction
Unfortunately, attraction can wax and wane in a relationship just like anything else. Although attraction can be about much more than physical appearance, sometimes it comes down to that, too. It’s important — on a broader level — to make sure you’re still working to impress your partner, both in life and with how you present yourself and interact with them.
No matter how close you are with someone, it’s important to still take care of yourself and present your best self to them, so they know that you care. For example, if you happen to show up with bad breath or body odor, it may be difficult to feel intimately attracted to you. Keep in mind there are often pretty simple fixes for those things, so this problem is easy to address in most cases.
6. Scheduling Conflicts
Of course, this is one of the most common reasons for gaps in relationships, especially in today’s era, with so many schedules floating around professionally and personally. Even if you and your partner love each other a great deal, one of the hurdles you may find is scheduling conflicts.
Ask yourself: Are either of you going through a professional period of hectic activity? Are either of you working hard to achieve goals? Do you have outside social or family obligations? All of these things might cause one of you — or even both of you — to seem distant. Although this reason might seem a bit simple, it’s also a fairly common plight of many relationships.
Reasons for Distance in a Relationship
If you’ve noticed that your partner has been distant in your relationship recently, there are plenty of reasons why that might be. Even though it might not be a great experience, distance doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship. Especially when the distance comes from a source like different love languages, scheduling conflicts, or even deeper issues that you can work through together, it’s absolutely possible to get through the distance and grow together.
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