If you’re anything like me then you are clueless when it comes to reading love signals and often miss some of the biggest signs, that someone likes you.
Maybe you’re good at picking up on when someone is attracted to you or maybe all the vital clues and hints pass you by. When somebody likes you they release something called oxytocin. This chemical is also known as “the love hormone” and activates feelings of attraction.
often people struggle to hide it but there are ways that you can tell. A 2018 study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin found that people behave in specific ways when they’re attracted to someone. Although it may not be immediately obvious psychologists believe that these are the ways you can tell that someone has a crush on you:
1. Physical Signs
The various changes in the body when somebody is attracted means that it shows in physical ways, that can’t be hidden, but you just have to know what to look for.
Dilated pupils are a common indicator. Therapist Courtney Geter says that this response is similar to an erection where blood vessels open up as a result of excitement.
People will often smile at you when they are attracted to you. Smiling is a way of showing that a person is available and open to conversation. Keeping eye contact is also a sign of attraction. If someone tries to hold your gaze then this is a very strong indicator that they are into you and trying to get your attention.
2. Compliments
If you notice that someone is showering you with compliments then there is a strong chance that this person is attracted to you. You do also need to be careful of love bombing. This is when a person compliments you continuously and sometimes this can be used for negative reasons.
Love bombing can involve someone giving you lots of attention, and gifts and going out of their way to please you. This can seem genuine but can be used to get what they want, for example, sex. Marriage therapist Shirin Peykar has described this as a way of grooming someone.
Many love bombers are described as narcissists. One classic way to identify a love bomber is if they want to move very fast at the beginning and they are very intense.
3. Avoidance
This may seem like a strange one but someone who likes you as more than a friend could try avoiding you.
If they are unsure of how you feel then avoiding you could be a tactic to protect themselves from getting hurt. Dr. Jess O’Reilly believes that sometimes people get a kick out of ignoring someone they are attracted to. This is only one reason. There are many reasons that this could happen.
Insecurities are often at play. It could be fear of rejection or shyness that stops somebody from approaching you. In this situation, you may want to talk to the person to see if you can break down barriers. Often a good conversation can help to relax the other person. Also, a conversation would help you to hopefully work out how they feel.
4. They Remember Details
Most people have a short attention span. They may listen to some things but do not always pay close attention.
If you notice that someone remembers everything about you then they may be attracted to you. Things like remembering your birthday or the meal that you enjoy the most are all signs.
Often they will ask you questions to get more details about you. Even if some time has passed since you last saw them they will still remember what you told them.
5. Jealousy
When someone likes you they don’t want to see you enjoying yourself with the potential competition.
You may notice a change in their energy and behavior when talking to other people. Although they may try to use their best poker face when they are jealous it can be really difficult to hide.
Jealousy shows in the face and body language. A jealous person may display several characteristics. This can include asking friends and family things about you so that they know what is going on. Also, they could ask you questions to try and ascertain what is going on.
This can be quite flattering but you should also be careful that this does not turn into controlling behaviour.
6. They Volunteer Information
You might be wondering why someone is telling you lots of things about themselves.
The more someone is attracted to you the more they feel the need to tell you things. By doing this they are hoping that you will tell them things about yourself.
When someone is attracted they want to feel that connection and by telling you things they are hoping to build trust.
Merriam-Webster describes attraction as:
“a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation.”
Everyone acts differently when they are attracted to someone. This can make it difficult to tell if someone is attracted to you.
Psychologists believe that certain characteristics are displayed when someone likes you. This is because there are hormones that are released which make people act in certain ways.
“Attraction is not a choice” — David D’Angelo
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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