6 Reasons for Thanks I’ve Encountered From 2020

This past year has changed the way I look at everything. I used to be a perpetually, almost manically, positive person. A bad day would come and go, and I would be able to move through it with relative ease. I had always sympathized with those suffering from depression but could never quite empathize because I didn’t understand what they were going through. I’ve always been a glass-half-full sort of gal.

Then 2020 hit. At the beginning of the year, much like every other new year, I resolved not to make any resolutions. I don’t believe in them because I think it puts too much pressure on a person. Instead, I’ve always tried to make small and subtle growth in my everyday life and make a conscious effort to learn something new every day.

Well, that’s all great until a deadly pandemic strikes the globe and both my husband and I get laid off from our jobs, the kids get kicked out of school, and we have to learn to navigate at home learning while struggling to keep a roof over our heads. By mid-June, things were looking pretty grim in our household, and my epic positive attitude was dwindling fast.

We made it through, or rather, we’re making it through. And as I reflect on this past year and the logical part of my brain keeps telling me that we’re not yet in the clear, I’ve realized that this isn’t the time to think big picture. Not regarding thankfulness, at least. Of course, I’m thankful for my family and our health. I’m thankful for our home and the fact that we can still afford to give our children a Christmas this year — despite how meagre it may be.

However, it’s not these things that give me hope. With everything so uncertain in this world, hope is the only emotion that will allow us to regain that positivity we once felt was such an integral piece of us.

So instead of the vague big-picture gratitude that I try to bring to mind in moments of despair, I want to talk about a few moments over this past year that have made me pause and think, damn, we really are going to be okay.

Video Chatting With the Girls

Don’t get me wrong, there were many video chats with my girlfriends over lockdown, but one session sticks out in my mind. Possibly because it was the day it was announced that the schools were closing down, and we would have to relearn grade 5 math to teach to our children. Real good times. Drinking wine, crying, and wondering what was going to happen in an uncertain future. To be clear, this is how most of our video chats still go, and I couldn’t be more grateful for such a non-judgemental lady-pals to let loose with, even if it’s over a screen.

Getting to know my kids better

Before this all happened, my husband and I owned a small bakery business. It was a mom-and-pop shop, and that meant long hours that we were away from our children every day while we tried to run a business by ourselves. Lockdown gave us the time and energy to really get to know our children and the interesting and hilarious young humans they are growing up to be. A few nights ago, my husband and I were tucking them into bed when they decided they wanted to give us a presentation on some “blueprints they’d been working on.” Their words, not mine. As Jamie and I sat on the end of our daughter’s bed, she and her brother explained The Wagontron to us and why we must start building this contraption immediately.

As I listened to their spiel, all I could think was, “When did these two become so damn charming?”

I’m a published author now — looky there!

I’ve wanted to be a writer ever since I was a young child. I’d write tortured pre-teen poetry about the boys in school I loved and never show those works to anyone (thankfully). My teenage years were tumultuous at best, and although sometimes I’d write a rambling diatribe about the unfairness of adolescent life while stoned on mushrooms, I gave up writing for a long time. About ten years ago, I started a blog, and from there, I’ve always written online and wished it would become something more. When the lockdown began, I was laid off from my job and looking for online work. I decided to throw my hat into the freelancing game and actually started making a bit of money from it. This experience gave me the confidence and the drive to go for my dreams. If not for quarantine, I’m not sure if I’d have ever tried.

My houseplants are finally not struggling for their lives.

With all this newfound time at home, I seem to have developed a green thumb and can now keep a houseplant alive for more than a few weeks. If that’s not something to be thankful for, I really don’t know what is.

Oh, the books I’ve read.

I have read so many books during the last 8 months, I am overflowing with knowledge, from “Where the Crawdads Sing” to David Sedaris’s newest essay compilation, “The Best of Me.” Books allow us to step outside our world and into someone else’s. They open us up and make us think about different ways of life, cultures and thought processes. Sometimes when I am stressed out and thinking of everyone else except for me, I will go months, even years without reading. And I feel that lack of books deep in my bones. I’m so thankful for the books and, by extension, the authors in my life.

Just when I thought I knew him the best…

When I thought I couldn’t know my husband any better, a shit storm of epic proportions comes along, and we are thrown the curviest of curveballs. A relationship is put through its most difficult challenges when under stress. And if quarantine and job loss and living on top of one another day in and day out isn’t stressful, I don’t know what is. But then something pretty awesome happened over those long months of lockdown. We opened up and had conversations I didn’t even know we needed to have. I am so thankful for those moments of quiet when all there was left to do the talk because that’s what we did, and we ended up unravelling a deeper, more meaningful layer of our marriage. It allowed me to realize that there will always be more layers ahead.

November is now the season to be jolly.

I used to never be a November Christmas decorator. Both my children’s birthdays are at the end of November, and I figured that we had to get past birthday week and then we could start in on Christmas. I don’t really know where this idea came from because my kids love Christmas and would have no problem sharing their birthdays with a Christmas tree. This year we had to cancel the kids’ birthday parties because the case counts have been rapidly rising in our neck of the woods, and we didn’t want to risk it. The kids timidly asked if we could set up the tree instead of a big party. “Um, yes, please,” I yelled, maybe a little too loud, but we definitely needed some early Christmas cheer up in here. And it worked. There we were in early November singing Rockin Around the Christmas Tree, throwing tinsel (I know it’s tacky and terrible) at a tree and loving every moment of it.

So with our Christmas tree trimmed and my charming children and husband snuggled closely beside me on the couch, I realize that this year hasn’t been all that terrible. With another lockdown upon us, I am most grateful for these wonderful people in my life and how I’ve gotten to know and appreciate them better.

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Previously published on medium

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