Ever been on the end of a phone call where the person you love is screaming at you? Feels terrible, right? If this happens regularly, eventually their negative energy will bring you down.
Here are 6 signs you’re dating a toxic person:
They’re selfish and irresponsible
When you’re dealing with a selfish person, it brings unhappiness to your relationship. Yet research shows that a loving romantic relationship adds to a sense of well-being.
The selfish person focuses on their own needs and ignores yours. They’ll make decisions that affect both of you based on what they want.
You’ll both spend Movie night watching the movie they like, they’ll order the food they like, and never think to ask you what you want.
They will take foolish risks, with you and with themselves. They’ll never take responsibility when they make mistakes and will blame all their problems on everyone else. And that includes you.
They’re angry and mean
When you are with a toxic person it will stress you out. You will feel uncomfortable when you’re with them because you never know what you’re getting. Are you getting the person you’re in love with, or are you getting the angry, abusive one? The slightest word can put them in a foul mood. And they will have no problem taking their bad mood out on you. They’ll rant and rave, and walk around sulking when they don’t get their way.
They won’t hesitate to be mean to you. Many times the date will end with your tears.
The same person who just yelled at you for hours will show up the next day with a bouquet and a smile. They know how loving and forgiving you are and they take full advantage of that. They know exactly how to manipulate you to get exactly what they want.
They’ll compliment you when you do favors for them. If you can’t help them, you’ll get the silent, cold treatment. They’ll make sure you pay for not bending to their will.
They’ll remember everything you ever did wrong and throw it up to your face to get what they want from you. It won’t matter that you haven’t done anything but be kind to them for months. They will bring up the past and remember that one thing you did.
You will feel tugged around like a puppet on a string.
They won’t tell you the truth. They will lie about their past and their present. Some of them will even lie about the future with you — the future that they know will never happen. Others will leave out important details.
There is no trust, and they have no conscience. They’ll cheat on you without a second thought. When you catch them cheating, they’ll blame it on you. They’ll say you made them do it. They’ll always play the victim.
They will be dishonest with money too. Be suspicious if they start bragging about all the money and possessions they have. Financially secure people don’t need to brag about it.
They treat you badly
It’s obvious by their words and actions, that they don’t have respect for you.
A kind, caring partner will walk up to your door to get you on a date. They may even open the car door for you to be polite. They will wait for you and forgive you if you are delayed because of something that came up.
Not the toxic person. If you’re a minute late coming outside to their car, they’ll be honking the horn so that the entire neighborhood gets to hear it. They may even leave without you — to teach you a lesson.
They’ll string you along, make last-minute plans and cancel on you if something better is happening.
Toxic people don’t just get a little jealous. They’ll interrogate you about who you’re with, where you are going, and start demanding that you stop wearing the outfit you love because they don’t want other people hitting on you. They’ll accuse you of cheating when you would never dream of doing such a thing. One day you’ll find out that they were the cheater all along.
They’re a pessimist
If you are dating a pessimist, it will get old real quick. It’s hard to have a good time with someone who is always looking at the dark side of everything. Their glum mood will bring you down, and before long you will be joining them in focusing on how bad life is. They will suck the joy right out of your life.
They’ll complain about everything and everyone. They’ll say life isn’t fair, and they never get a break. If it’s sunny outside, they’ll say it’s too hot. If it snows, it is a major tragedy.
If they work, they hate their job. If they’re home, they hate being home. They don’t seem to be happy about anything.
After a time dating them, you’ll feel like the fun has disappeared from your life. You’ll feel tired and uninspired.
Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
That’s what will happen to you while you’re with them. You’ll live in a pessimistic world, and will lose your joie de vivre.
If you stay with this toxic person, it will only drag you down. The good news is you’re only dating them. You can easily move on to someone who will be much more suited to you. You can find a person who is cheerful and considerate and brightens your day with a smile. Why would you stay in the rain, when you can live a life in the sun?
Life is too short to be miserable with someone who will never treat you the way you deserve. There is a beautiful world out there to discover. How much greater it will be to share it with the right person who will love it as much as you do.
This post was previously published on Medium.
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