Being cheated on is the ultimate betrayal. But you will survive, and you will learn how to find love again.
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There is no pain quite as devastatingly horrendous as that of heartbreak.
That pain is only exponentially magnified if that heartbreak was the result of being cheated on.
It is the ultimate betrayal. To have someone you have given your heart to be unfaithful is like having your beating heart ripped from your chest with a pair of loose pliers.
It can make you question yourself.
It can make you wonder if you’re enough. It can make you wonder what you did to cause this.
With time, you heal. You survive. You can’t help but wind up really guarded.
You gave your love to someone who discarded it once before; you’re not going to easily give it away again.
You may find it very difficult to find someone again because of how highly cautious you have become. This may seem like a negative thing, but it isn’t.
It is the ultimate betrayal. To have someone you have given your heart to be unfaithful is like having your beating heart ripped from your chest with a pair of loose pliers.
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Being cheated on made you stronger, it made you better, and it made you open your eyes and realize what you want out of a relationship and what you don’t want out of a relationship.
As absolutely horrible as it was at the time, being cheated on was actually the best thing that could have ever happened to you.
Nothing will make you self-reflect and analyze quite like deception.
You won’t be easily fooled again. When you’ve been cheated on, you will tolerate very little BS from a future partner.
You will insist on being treated the way you deserve to be treated.
After all of the trials, the love you will find later down the road will only be that much deeper, resilient and stable.
These are six things you learn about love only after you’ve been cheated on:
You learn love isn’t always forever.
It’s hard to believe a love you were invested in so fully could not be permanent. Being cheated on will make you jaded to the term “forever.”
You will realize not every relationship is going to be THE relationship.
This should never deter you from seeking love. Love is a beautiful thing, but it is not impenetrable.
You have to go into every new relationship understanding this may not work out.
A little skepticism is healthy. Going in completely open is just plain naïve.
You learn jealousy is the most dangerous emotion on Earth.
Jealousy can get the best of you after a betrayal.
It’s easy to compare yourself to another person and wonder what YOU did wrong in the relationship to make your partner step out.
It is a slippery slope that can leave you tear-stained and empty.
Your partner’s lack of monogamy has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with him or her.
Getting wrapped up in jealous emotions will only burn you up from the inside out.
This person broke your heart; he or she is not deserving of your anger, only your pity.
You learn people are capable of doing really terrible things.
You will become privy to the depths of selfishness that exists in the world.
People are capable of doing unforgivable things, even to people who they supposedly love.
You may be shocked, and you will be horrified by what people are able to do to others.
These kinds of destructive behaviors will only facilitate your ability to rise above them.
You know people are terrible, and you are among the few who are great.
You learn trust is the most important thing in a relationship.
There will never be something as important as trust. Once it is broken, every single relationship will fall apart. It is the key ingredient in making something last.
If you can’t trust someone, you are doomed to fail.
Once you’ve been cheated on, your trust becomes very hard to earn. You know it is something easily broken, and only a handful of people are deserving of it.
You second-guess people because you don’t want to get burned.
It only makes your bonds that much stronger. Those who have your trust have proven they are worthy of it.
You learn love isn’t always enough.
There is a lengthy education only life can give us. One of the lessons you will learn is despite what the movies have told you, love is not always enough.
It takes a lot more than love to make a relationship last. It takes a lot of work and a lot of commitment.
There will be fights. There will be ugly moments. There will be awful things said to each other.
It takes ultimate, full-bodied dedication.
You can’t just expect something to thrive without being looked after and tended to.
Love is powerful, but with just love alone, you won’t survive. It takes WORK.
You learn just how strong you are.
After being backstabbed and left for dead, you will learn just what you are capable of. You may have been battered, but you will never be broken.
Betrayal will only make you that much stronger.
Being cheated on is devastating, but it will not destroy you. We are a collection of the trials of our past.
They make us who we are. If you can come out the other end of a serious trauma and continue on with your life, you are the one has won the war.
By Gigi Engle
Originally published at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
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Gigi Engle is a Staff Writer for Elite Daily. Gigi earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism and English from Fordham University. She’s completely psycho, but in a good way. Follow her on Facebook, Insta and Twitter @GigiEngle
——Photo: Eisenmenger/Pixabay
For me, the physical was not all that important.
What devastated me, was the emotional affair, started kong before the physical.
The emotional affair took all those thing that helped us maintain our relationship, and all those things i asked fkr and never got, and gave them.to another.
All relationship failures are the failures of two people, not juat one, and I have my own share of responsibility, but I did not deserve to be shunned, ghosted and blamed for it all.
The emotional affair made anything else impossible.
Are you high? “As absolutely horrible as it was at the time, being cheated on was actually the best thing that could have ever happened to you.” Many of the lessons learned could also apply to someone in an abusive relationship. Would you tell someone with two black eyes “Hey, getting beaten was actually the best thing that could have happened to you”? Infidelity (as well as abuse) is DEVASTATING. I’m SO tired of seeing all this crap about how you can come back from it stronger, like it’s a good thing. Yes, you CAN come back stronger in some… Read more »
I have experienced all of the lessons listed above after being cheated on by my “ex-husband”. We were together for over 20 years. During the divorce proceedings, I discovered that he had cheated on his family at least 3 other times. In other words, he was a serial cheater. His last mistress was a married woman with 4 sons. I refused to let him continue to disrespect me and dishonor our daughter. There was absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior. If he wanted to have sex with numerous women, he should have remained single or found a woman… Read more »
You are now capable of inflicting agony on the one who betrayed you. You find the will to destroy any shred of dignity or happiness on the one you once loved dearly. And you learn that you can be capable of permanently extinguishing the life of the cheater.