Relationships are often hard. No one ever tells you that before you get into one, and by the time you realize it, it’s often too late. In this blog post, we will discuss seven brutal truths about relationships that no one ever tells you.
If you’re thinking of getting into a relationship or are currently in one, it’s critical to be aware of these truths so that you can make the best decisions for yourself and your partner.
“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” — Ayn Rand
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7. Instant Gratification is Mostly Cheap Love and Unsatisfying.
Inour modern society, we’ve been programmed to believe that we should always get what we want and that we deserve instant gratification. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. We want the perfect partner, and we want them now.
With the technology we now have, instant one-click purchases are available for almost anything we could want, so it’s no wonder that we think we should be able to find the perfect partner with the same ease.
Unfortunately, this is not how relationships work. You might have to go on a few bad dates before you find someone compatible, and even then, it takes effort to make things work. In reality, most relationships take time to develop.
Excellent relationships take time to build and require effort from both partners. If you’re looking for instant gratification in a relationship, you’re likely to be disappointed. Cheap and easy thrills are not what lasting connections are made of.
6. In Most Cases, Self-Love Doesn’t Come With Partners.
When we’re in a relationship, we often expect our partner to make us happy and fulfilled. We think that they will love us unconditionally and help us to love ourselves. While it’s certainly possible for this to happen, in most cases, it doesn’t. Oftentimes, you have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love someone else.
This is not something that your partner can do for you. It’s something that you have to do for yourself. If you’re not happy with who you are, no amount of love from your partner is going to change that.
Can you really wish someone else to love you when you don’t even love yourself? You need to learn to accept yourself first and foremost before you can expect someone else to do the same. Only then will you be able to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
5. Perfect Doesn’t Exist, So Stop Searching.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect partner. Accepting this before you can be delighted in a relationship would be best. If you’re constantly searching for perfection, you will likely be disappointed.
No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. There will always be ups and downs, good times and bad times. That’s just the way it is. The key is finding someone with whom you can accept imperfections and who accepts yours.
The cause might be from fairy tales, movies, or even books. Society tells us that there’s such a thing as a soulmate and that we should all be searching for that one perfect person who is going to make our lives complete. But the truth is, we have to consider the possibility that soulmates don’t exist. And even if they did, relationships are still hard work.
4. Rock Bottom is The True Test of Love.
In the instances where one partner can be at its worst of the worst in their lives, that is when you will know if the love for that person is really true. It does not matter how much money, beauty, or power the other has. If they can still see you and be with you through your absolute worst or vice-versa, then they deserve to be called “love.”
During the good times, it is easy to stay in love, but when everything falls apart, and your partner is hitting rock bottom, that’s when their true colors will show. This test separates those who are in love from those who simply like each other very much.
It takes a strong person to help another back up on their feet during difficult times, so if your partner can do that for you, then they definitely deserve all of your love. On the other hand, if they walk away as soon as things get rough, then they were never really in love with you, to begin with.
3. Expect the Past Pain to Reflect in the Relationships.
If you have been hurt in the past, it is only natural to be guarded in your current relationship. However, this can often do more harm than good. It is important to remember that not all people are the same. Just because someone has hurt you in the past does not mean that your current partner will do the same thing.
Of course, it is still essential to be cautious and take things slowly at first. But don’t let your past experiences dictate how you feel about your current relationship. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to fully open up to your partner and let them in. And what’s the point of being in a relationship if you’re not going to let yourself be vulnerable?
Just because someone has hurt you in the past does not mean that your current partner will do the same thing. The past pain might have been caused by a previous partner, family member, or friend. Regardless of who it was, it is crucial to learn from that experience and not let it control your current relationship.
2. Don’t Let the Ego Kill the Beautiful Things.
The ego is a defense mechanism that often gets in the way of our relationships. When we get hurt, our egos go into overdrive and try to protect us from getting hurt again. But the problem is that this often ends up causing more harm than good.
If you’re constantly trying to protect yourself from getting hurt, you’re not going to be able to fully open up to your partner. And without vulnerability, intimacy is impossible. So if you want to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship, you need to learn how to let down your guard and let your partner in.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should just allow yourself to be taken advantage of. But it does mean that you should be open to the possibility of getting hurt again. Because without vulnerability, there can be no intimacy or true connection.
1. You Can’t Force Someone to Love You.
If you’re in a relationship where you feel like you’re constantly trying to make things work, but it just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, then it might be time to let go. You can’t force someone to love you, no matter how much you want them to.
And even if they love you, nothing stops them from leaving at any given moment. So if your relationship feels one-sided or you’re always the one putting in all the effort, then it might be time for you to move on. Because at the end of the day, relationships should be about two people who are equally invested and committed to each other.
However, if you think you’ve found a real one, then, by all means, fight for them. But if it feels like you’re constantly swimming upstream and don’t have the strength to continue or feel like you’ve been taken advantage of, then consider that it might be time to let go and find someone who will love you as much as you love them.
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The Bottom Line
These are just a few of the many brutal truths about relationships. If you’re currently in a relationship, then it’s fundamental, to be honest with yourself and your partner about where things stand. And if you’re not in a relationship, then hopefully, this article has given you some insight into what to expect.
Nevertheless, no matter what your situation is, remember that relationships are never easy. They take work, patience, and understanding. But if you can find someone who is willing to put in the effort and weather the storms with you, then it will all be worth it in the end.
What other brutal truths would you add to this list? Share them in the comments below!
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” — Buddha
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This post was researched and inspired by these sources:
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201703/10-absolute-truths-about-relationships
- https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-21222/38-hard-truths-about-relationships.html
- https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/truth-quotes
This content is for informational purposes only. It was not created to be a substitute for professional guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. Not all information might be accurate. Consider consulting with a professional or a specialist.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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