7 Important Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Into a Serious Relationship

“Love alone can rekindle life.” Henri Frederic Amiel

Let me tell you about a guy I knew in high school called Arnold.

Arnold was one of those guys who was just naturally handsome. He had sparkling brown eyes and a smile that could light up a room. Everyone wanted to be his friend and he always seemed to have a girlfriend.

Things changed when Arnold met Sarah.

Sarah was different from any of the other girls he had dated. She was smart, funny and completely comfortable in her own skin. Arnold felt like he could be himself around Sarah and before long, they were inseparable.

Sarah’s friends were worried that she was moving too fast but she was sure that Arnold was the one. She just knew they were meant to be together.

So what happened?

Well, it turns out that Arnold and Sarah had very different expectations for the relationship. Arnold wanted to take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other whereas Sarah was ready to get serious straight away.

Unfortunately, they weren’t able to compromise and the relationship ended up fizzling out.

If you’re thinking about getting into a serious relationship, it’s important to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.

Here are 7 key questions to ask yourself before taking things to the next level:

1. What are your expectations for the relationship?

“The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests.” — Sheryl Sandberg

Do you want something long-term or are you happy with something more casual?

It is important to be honest with yourself and your partner about what you’re looking for.

Otherwise, you could end up being disappointed.

What are your expectations for the relationship? What do you hope to gain from it? What do you hope to give to it? These are important questions to ask yourself before entering into any relationship.

By having a clear understanding of your expectations, you can set yourself up for success.

What do you hope to gain from the relationship?

Do you want companionship, love, and support? Do you want someone with whom you can share your life and experiences? Do you hope to find someone who will be a true partner and equal?

What do you hope to give to the relationship?

What do you have to offer that will make it a success? What qualities do you bring that will add value to the relationship?

Why this question is important:

When you know what you expect from the relationship and what you have to offer, you can enter into it with confidence, knowing that you have the potential to make it everything that you want it to be.

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2. What kind of commitment are you looking for?

“Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby.” — Neil Strauss

When it comes to relationships, commitment is everything.

It is the glue that holds a relationship together and helps it to withstand the ups and downs of life. But what kind of commitment are you looking for in your relationship?

Are you looking for a committed partner who is always there for you, no matter what? Someone who is always ready to lend a helping hand, whether you need it or not?

Or are you looking for someone who is more independent, someone who respects your need for space and is comfortable giving you the autonomy you need to pursue your own interests?

Why this question is important:

Whatever kind of commitment you’re looking for, it’s important to communicate your needs to your partner. Only then will you be able to build the kind of relationship that you want.

So go ahead and ask yourself, what kind of commitment are you looking for in the relationship?

And then let your partner know. They might just surprise you with how much they are willing to give.

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3. How much time and effort are you willing to put into the relationship?

“Appreciate the effort of a person who really wants to spend their time with you, because not every person can do such effort unless they love you.” — Lizzie Natesky

How much time and effort are you willing to put into the relationship?

This is a question that we often ask ourselves when we are considering getting into a new relationship. We want to know if we are willing to put in the work that is necessary to make the relationship successful.

What we often fail to realize, however, is that any relationship requires time and effort. If we are not willing to put in the work, then the relationship is not likely to be a success.

The question, then, is not how much time and effort you are willing to put into the relationship. The question is how much time and effort you are willing to put into making the relationship successful.

Successful relationships don’t just happen; they take work.

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Why this question is important:

If you are not willing to put in the work, then you are not likely to have a successful relationship.

So ask yourself: How much time and effort am I willing to put into making this relationship successful? The answer will determine whether or not you are truly ready for a committed relationship.

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4. What do you need from your partner in order to be happy?

“There is only one happiness in life. To love and be loved.” — George Sand

What do you need from your partner in order to be happy?

Everyone has different answer to this question, but there are some common themes.

For many people, happiness comes from feeling loved and valued. If you feel like your partner truly understands and appreciates you, it can be a huge source of happiness.

Other people find happiness in having a partner who is supportive and helpful. If your partner is someone you can rely on, it can make a big difference in your overall happiness.

Finally, many people simply enjoy being around their partner. If you have fun together and enjoy each other’s company, it’s likely that you’ll be happy in the relationship.

Why this question is important:

Ultimately, only you can decide what you need from your partner in order to be happy. But if you take the time to think about it, you’ll be one step closer to finding lasting happiness in your relationship.

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5. What are your deal-breakers?

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” — Brene Brown

What are your deal-breakers in a relationship?

For some people, it might be something as simple as not being able to accept their partner’s imperfections.

Others might have a more long list of deal-breakers, including things like dishonesty or a lack of respect.

Still others might find that they’re willing to overlook some flaws if they’re head-over-heels in love.

Why this question is important:

No matter what your deal-breakers are, it’s important to be honest with yourself about what you need and want in a relationship. If you’re not honest with yourself, you might end up in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy.

But if you’re honest about your deal-breakers, you can find a partner who meets all of your needs and who you can build a happy and healthy relationship with.

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6. What are your fears and concerns about the relationship?

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives.” — Judy Blume

What are your fears and concerns about the relationship?

Many of us have fears and concerns that keep us from being fully present in our relationships. We may fear abandonment, rejection, or betrayal. We may worry about not being good enough or being judged.

These fears and concerns can prevent us from being open and honest with our partner.

They can also lead us to withdraw from the relationship or to try to control our partner.

If you are struggling with fears and concerns in your relationship, it is important to talk about them with your partner. Only by facing our fears can we hope to overcome them.

Why this question is important:

When we share our fears and concerns with our partner, we create a deeper connection and a stronger bond. We also give our partner the opportunity to help us address these fears. So don’t be afraid to talk about your fears and concerns. It may be the best thing you can do for your relationship.

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7. What are your goals for the relationship?

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” — Andrew Carnegie

What are your goals for the relationship? What do you hope to achieve together?

These are important questions to ask yourselves early on in the relationship.

By setting some mutually agreed upon goals, you can provide yourselves with a roadmap for the future. It can help to keep you both motivated and focused on what is most important to you.

What kind of things do you want to achieve together? Do you want to travel to new places? Do you want to start a family? Do you want to buy a house?

Whatever your goals may be, big or small, make sure that you communicate them to your partner.

Why this question is important:

With a shared vision for the future, you can achieve anything you set your minds to.

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Final Thoughts

Asking yourself these questions before getting into a serious relationship can help you to find true love, as well as avoid heartache down the line.

By knowing what you want and need from a partner, as well as what your fears and concerns are, you can enter into a relationship with eyes wide open.

Plus, by setting goals for the relationship, you and your partner will have a roadmap to follow as you navigate your way through love.

Your Thoughts

If you are looking for true love, would you consider asking yourself these 7 key questions before getting into a serious relationship? Let me know in he comments section.

Thank you for reading.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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