As I write this post, I can’t help but think about all the wonderful women out there who want to date but have yet to experience real dating.
There are many men, too. Maybe more men.
For some, it’s a choice they’ve made, while for others, circumstances may have prevented them from finding that special someone.
To be clear, dating is not a need or requirement for anyone.
Yet, many people long to date. Regardless of the reason, there are those who have yet to experience the beautiful, exhilarating, and sometimes overwhelming journey that is falling in love.
To the person who has never dated before, I want to share with you the loving messages that you deserve to hear, messages that (I hope) will make your heart skip a beat and remind you that you are worthy of love and affection.
Whether you’re new to the dating scene or have been waiting for the right person to come along, these messages are for you.
Disclaimer: None of these messages should be misconstrued as an excuse for bad behavior, trauma-fueled unhealthy habits, unpleasant attitudes, unrealistic demands, or delusional self-importance. This is about self-acceptance, humility, and self-love.
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You Are Deserving of Love, Just as You Are
It’s easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you because you haven’t been in a relationship yet.
But I want you to know that you are deserving of love just the way you are.
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart.” — Helen Keller
You don’t need to change anything about yourself to attract love. The right person will love you for exactly who you are, flaws and all. So don’t ever doubt your worthiness of love, because you are deserving of it.
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Your Independence and Strength Are Admirable Qualities That Someone Will Appreciate
It takes a lot of courage and strength to go through life alone, especially in a society that often places so much value on being in a relationship.
But I want you to know that your independence and strength are admirable qualities that someone will appreciate. The right person will see these qualities as a strength, not a weakness, and they will respect you for it.
Don’t Let Your Past or Lack of Experience Define Your Worthiness of Love
Just because you haven’t been in a relationship yet doesn’t mean you are any less deserving of love.
Your past or lack of experience does not define your worthiness of love, and it certainly doesn’t make you any less deserving of it. Remember that your journey is unique, and there is no timeline for falling in love.
You are worthy of love.
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There Is Someone Out There Who Will Cherish and Love Every Part of You
It can be hard to imagine someone loving every part of you, especially when you’re used to hiding certain aspects of yourself from the world.
But I want you to know that there is someone out there who will love and cherish every part of you, even the parts that you might think are unlovable.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” — Anonymous (Buddha, maybe)
You are unique and special, and there is someone out there who will see that and appreciate it.
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Don’t Be Afraid To Take Chances and Put Yourself Out There
I know that it can be scary to put yourself out there, but love is worth the risk.
Don’t be afraid to take chances and try new things.
This might mean going on a blind date or downloading a dating app, or simply talking to that person you’ve been eyeing for a while.
It can be nerve-wracking, but it’s worth it. The right person is out there waiting for you, and you won’t find them unless you take a chance.
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You Are Capable of Experiencing All the Beauty and Excitement That Love Has To Offer
Just because you haven’t been in a relationship yet doesn’t mean you’re missing out on anything.
Or lacking anything.
You are capable of experiencing all the beauty and excitement that love has to offer, and it will be even more special when it happens to you. There are so many wonderful experiences and moments to look forward to, and the right person will make it all worth it.
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Your Journey Is Different From Anyone Else’s, But That Doesn’t Make It Any Less Valid or Meaningful
It’s important to remember that your journey is different from anyone else’s, and that’s okay.
Just because you haven’t been in a relationship yet doesn’t mean that your experiences, feelings, and struggles are any less valid or meaningful. Your journey is unique and valuable, and it will shape you into the person you’re meant to be.
Trust the process and know that your time will come.
I ran across this YouTube video that inspired this blog post:
YouTube video by Emily Wilson — Credit
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One Last Thing
Before I end this post, I want to remind you that your dating status is not your identity.
You are so much more than whether or not you’ve been in a relationship. You have your own set of interests, passions, goals, and accomplishments that make you who you are.
Don’t let society’s pressure to be in a relationship define you.
You are an amazing, unique, and valuable person, regardless of your dating status.
I know it can be hard to see other people in relationships, to wonder when your time will come, or to feel like you’re missing out on something.
In the meantime, focus on yourself, your passions, and your own growth.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to live a fulfilling and happy life.
There are so many wonderful experiences, people, and opportunities out there waiting for you. So keep your heart open, be kind to yourself, and trust that everything will fall into place.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Darius Bashar on Unsplash