The rate that marriages don’t last these days is alarming. Before you decide you’re ready to buy that ring and ask your partner to marry you, ask and answer these seven questions first.
Every day you can read the news and hear about another celebrity couple divorcing. You have probably even experienced divorce in your life through some you know. Despite the stats, marriage can be amazing and one of the best decision in any man’s life if he approaches it the right way.
I got married the day after I turned 18 years-old, and we have been married for sixteen years. I wish I could tell you it’s been all roses and champagne, but it hasn’t. There was even a time we separated for a few months to figure out if continuing our marriage was worth it. We worked through our issues and have continued to grow in our marriage
Taking your relationship to the next and very serious level of marriage must be thought out. Love at first sight happens, but it’s rare, and it’s the exception—not the rule. Before you decide you’re ready to buy that ring and ask your partner to marry you, ask and answer these seven questions first.
1. How often do you fight? Having arguments is a natural part of two people being together. However, if you fight more than you kiss, that should be a huge red flag. An argument here and there keeps things interesting, but constant arguments over things that aren’t that important is a sign of things to come. Marriage has legal ramifications, so before you decide to take the leap, examine how much you fight and what you fight about.
2. Do you know each other’s history? You don’t have to know every single person your partner has slept with, but you should have a clue. There may be something major or scary that could affect your health, and that should factor into your decision. A conversation where you give each other an overview should do the trick.
3. Can you tolerate each other’s families? Marriage means you’re marrying into another family. You don’t have to love your partner’s family, but you should be able to communicate civilly with them. If there is outright hatred, it will have an effect on your marriage.
4. Is your sex life smoking hot right now? There’s a common joke about sex being cut in half when you’re married. I can’t tell you if that’s been scientifically proven, but if your sex life is boring or dead now, that’s not a good sign. In the dating stage of your relationship, you should be ripping each other’s close off, and sex should be an exciting part of the relationship.
5. Are there things you have to justify? If there are things you have tried hard to ignore but bother you, it’s time to get honest with yourself, guys. You can only hold the truth back for so long, and marriage is a serious commitment that you need to be sure about.
6. Do you have a solid financial foundation? You don’t have to be rich like Bill Gates before getting married, but you should have a sure footing. Married life and what follows can be expensive. Before you get married is the time to save a couple of bucks and maybe do a few fun activities. You can set yourself up better than most men if you start creating that foundation now.
7. Do you have the same goals and dreams? A supportive spouse can be the difference between success and failure in life. An unsupportive one can kill a man’s dreams and goals. You have to communicate and see if you have the same vision for what your dream life looks like. If you realize that your partner is willing to settle for complacency, it may not be the best fit for your life.
There are many factors that go into a successful marriage, and marriage can help or hurt your life. It’s a serious decision that requires honesty between yourself and the person you love. Your relationship should have grown to the point of this decision being an option. If your relationship has been stuck in the same place for years, then it might be time to get honest about making another decision.
If you have asked and answered these questions, bravo to you and your partner! Marriage is hard and takes a lot of work, but it’s worth the struggle to make that commitment to that person you love with all your heart. It’s your way to make a public and legal declaration that this is the person for you.
What questions did you ask and answer before you decided to pop the question?
Photo: Flickr/ Steven Luscher