Don’t let your past relationships prevent you from having awesome future ones.
People often ask me where I get the ideas for some of the articles I write. The truth is, a lot of the time, you’ve got to find inspiration in the un-inspirational. People who complain or are negative can often make you say “Hey, it really shouldn’t be that way, and I want to say something about it.”
One of these situations that really grinds my gears is when people generalize all relationships as negative. By this I mean they make unattractive blanket statements that classify being with someone as inherently ill-fated. I mean, that really fries my chicken. It seriously burns my toast.
Here are some myths being perpetuated in our society that stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of what a relationship really is. Unfortunately, people may have had these experiences more than once, and begin to generalize as well as begin to express their opinions as overall fact.
1. You think everybody cheats.
This one is pretty basic. Kind of like “Why relationships suck 101.” Men cheat, women cheat, or maybe you cheat, and you can only assume that everyone else acts the way that you do. Maybe this has even happened to you more than once.
The truth is…hear me out here…not everybody cheats. There are people out there who possess the self control to understand that a loving, healthy relationship will bring more satisfaction than a temporary physical act. Typically, we call these people “mature, respectable adults” and if you only commit yourself to one of them, you may have a more positive experience.
2. You see your friends unhappy.
Maybe you’re single but your friends are in relationships. Maybe they don’t make the best choices when it comes to partners, and they are, overall, unsatisfied. It’s only natural that this will affect your perception of what is normal for our generation, but you are not them, and their circumstances aren’t your circumstances.
If we just take the time to listen, observe, and learn from other peoples’ experiences, we can make better decisions when it comes to our own. You do not have to be a victim of circumstances, you can create them.
3. You think you’ll be held back in life.
You do not have to choose success or a relationship, all you need is to find someone who will support and encourage you along your journey. People, in general, can be lazy and unmotivated. They fall into routines and their happiness or self-motivation dwindles and this negativity can be contagious, especially in a relationship.
It’s difficult to plan a future with someone who doesn’t have any plans for their own future. This is what makes it so important to really get to know someone as well as their hopes, dreams, and ambitions, before you commit to them.
The right person will be your support system, and never discourage you.
4. You think you’ll have to give up your friends.
Why is it that so many people feel as though if you’ve got a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you can no longer communicate with members of the opposite sex? This, to me, is a serious trust issue and is a red flag right off the bat. When it is understood that you are two individual people with two individual lives that existed before you knew each other, it makes life much easier.
When you’re happy with someone, wouldn’t you rather introduce them to everyone and become part of each others’ lives, rather than cutting everyone else out?
Next: Multiple Relationships, Fishing in the Same Pond, and What’s Pessimism Got to Do With It Anyway?
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