If you want to date beautiful women, you need to understand the reality they live in.
This reality has transformed in recent years.
Here are 7 secrets of modern dating that most women will never admit.
1. Women Are All Chasing The Same Men On Dating Apps
Online dating is the most common way people find a date. Some 25% of single Americans met the last person they dated through a dating app or social media.
However, it’s a small percentage of men winning over the majority of women online.
Online dating statistics reveal that:
- The top 78% of attractive women on Tinder/OKCupid are only swiping right on the top 20% of attractive men.
- Women rate 80% of male profiles on OKCupid as unattractive.
- The Gini coefficient of Tinder is higher than 95% of the world’s economies.
The odds are stacked in women’s favor on dating apps. Even plain women are overwhelmed with matches. This is partly due to men greatly outnumbering women and being less picky about who they’ll swipe on. Even so, it means that most women will only agree to meet the best of the best.
A lot of women claim that they use dating apps out of boredom or for free food. Many use them as a funnel to grow their Instagram or other social media accounts. Of course, that might change if a top 1% guy matched with them.
Still, all signs suggest that dating apps are a waste of time for the average man.
2. Women Will Make It Easy For The Right Guy
Most women will move heaven and earth to not appear promiscuous to society at large.
However, that’s not always the case when a top 1% guy slides into their DMs.
I’ve witnessed rich or handsome guys successfully shoot their shots within one or two messages.
They’re not taking these women on fancy dates either. It’s straight to the bedroom.
The women you’re dating might claim to be “not so easy”, but the data suggests the majority of them are lying. This 2017 poll found that the average American woman has had six one-night stands in her lifetime, while European women notched up five. Just 21% of female respondents said they’d be disappointed in a female friend who had one.
If a woman is making you wait, it could be that she sees you as a “nice guy” who will judge her for being too easy.
3. The Top 1% Will Spend Big Money To Meet Women
It’s no secret that high rollers will drop a couple of bands on a nightclub table to attract the best women. Indeed, nightclubs make most of their money through these high-rollers.
However, many wealthy men are now spending big money to attract women online as well.
Many will use personal assistants to message women and fly them out to their parties.
Dan Bilzerian, who is arguably the most famous man alive for running such parties, discussed this phenomenon on the Joe Rogan podcast.
He said:
“A lot of these girls now, they don’t want to go to the clubs. They don’t need to go to parties to meet celebrities anymore, they could just DM them.
“You have all these rich guys that are just having their pussy co-ordinator message these girls. They’re getting paid $5,000, $10,000 to just go on vacation. Some of them don’t even have to sleep with the guys.”
Once you understand this, it becomes clearer why so many beautiful women are addicted to Instagram.
4. You Probably Know A Few Secret Sugar Babies
Seeking, the most popular sugar dating website, has an estimated 10 million users in the United States. There are around two sugar babies for every sugar daddy, meaning there are 6.7 million sugar babies on this one website.
This might only represent 2% of the U.S. population, but let’s dig a little deeper.
There are 113 million people in the United States aged between 18–44, according to the U.S census. Some 51% of them are female.
So, we have 60.1 million women aged 18–44, and 6.7 million of them are on Seeking. More than one in ten of the young women you meet are sugar babies. Or they’ve tried at least.
That’s without considering the other sugar websites, the Instagram models getting flown out to Dubai, and the many thousands of ‘virtual sugar babies’ on OnlyFans.
5. Women Don’t Really Want Nice Guys
Have you ever asked for dating advice from a woman?
“Just be yourself!”
“Be a gentleman!”
“Show her you really like her.”
These are the cliches you’re most likely to hear. Movies and TV shows will show the ‘nice guy’ getting the girl in the end too.
The thing is: women are rarely choosing the men who treat them like their one and only princess. When men do that, they come across as desperate and beneath them.
Top-tier men don’t fawn over women because they have plenty of options. They can easily find a date or a hook-up without having to spoil anyone. Women have to work for their attention. Deep down, that’s what women want because it’s an honest signal that he’s a desirable man.
When trying to attract women, you’re better off behaving as if you have an abundance of options, even if that’s not yet true. Don’t treat one woman as a special princess until they’re your girlfriend. Invest only as much as they invest in you.
When women give men dating advice, they imagine what they’d want a top-tier man to do. They’d want Channing Tatum to buy them flowers and treat them like a princess because they’re already attracted to him. Most women can’t compute what they’d want from a normal guy, because they have no interest in dating one.
6. Most Incels Are Normal Guys
When most people use the term ‘incel’, they think of basement-dwelling losers who hate women. However, the term is short for ‘involuntarily celibate.’
That means plenty of socially-adjusted guys with jobs and social lives are incels. Some 27% of men under 30 haven’t had sex since they turned 18.
This is the result of women’s rising dating standards.
A 2023 Pew research study found that 63% of young men (aged 18–29) are single, compared to just 34% of young women. Around half of the single men said they weren’t currently looking for relationships or casual flings.
Perhaps some are focusing on building their wealth to become more desirable to women? Let’s hope so.
The ability to attract women or provide for one’s family is a huge incentive for men to be productive members of society. If more men give up on dating, we may notice a significant rise in aggressive incel stereotypes.
7. It’s Still Possible To Meet A Woman In The Real World
You may have seen articles or videos about how “modern dating is broken”. These talking points are now being discussed in mainstream media too.
It’s still possible to live a fulfilling dating life though, even if you’re a so-called “average guy”. You just need to change your strategy.
For starters, you can stop relying on online dating. If you’re not getting a ton of matches now, that’s unlikely to change unless you dramatically improve your photos.
From there, you can learn how to smoothly approach women in the real world. This is a dying art. Most men either rely on dating apps or the opportunities that appear through friends, school or work. Yet, few are overwhelmed with dates.
When you learn to cold-approach, you stand out from the crowd and take control of your own romantic destiny. You get to show off your charm and charisma and build a real-life connection. That can give you the edge over the rich and handsome men in a woman’s DMs.
This skill has allowed me — a short, bald online writer — to thrive in this so-called “broken” dating market.
You can do the same.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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Photo credit: Pietra Schwarzler on unsplash.com
