It is the final quarter of 2023.
Maybe as you consider all the things that you wanted to accomplish, and you didn’t, you feel lost, hopeless, and filled with regret to name a few emotions.
If this is how you feel you are not alone.
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When the year started, I had hoped to accomplish much more in my personal development.
I did achieve many unexpected things this year so I can’t in the least complain.
However, as I reflect on a goal that is important to me. I recognize that the expected progress has not been made. It has been a long-standing goal and though I have made strides, it seems as soon as I progress a bit it comes to a stop and then having to resume.
In this area I felt really stuck for a while until I discovered how to get unstuck. These approaches helped to get me unstuck and hope it can for you also.
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A little bit is better than none — Spending a little time each day is better than none.
I used to have an all or nothing approach. Now I recognized that even if ten minutes per day is spent with clear objectives to achieve in the time frame, progress is made. If you do so, by the end of the week you would have spent an hour.
As you see yourself making steps towards the goal, you feel encouraged to increase the time spent.
The all or nothing mindset — Quite often there is the belief that you must do it all.
If you can’t then it is best, you don’t do anything.
I understand and have experienced this.
Sometimes when we focus on others and the amount of time, they devote to the goal you may feel guilty about not achieving this.
The death of a goal is in comparison. Each of us have varying circumstances and we can’t use others schedule to dictate ours.
Too many goals at the same time — There is so much you want to do and then you end up doing nothing!!
There is so much you want to achieve and then you feel overwhelmed and pulled in all different directions as even if you can devote some time to a goal, there are so many different goals pulling you in all various directions.
The best thing you can do is prioritize and work on one goal at a time.
To determine which one matters to you, consider if you had just a short time on this earth, what is the legacy you would want to leave.
It may seem ominous to think like this, but it puts things in perspective of how to prioritize.
Learning to say no — I know it is hard to do.
I have been there.
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Learning to say no takes courage to not feel guilty that you may be letting down or disappointing someone.
Most times when you can’t say no, you find yourself overwhelmed, frustrated.
It doesn’t mean that you should say no all the time. However, you should determine beforehand what you can and cannot do.
Not surrounded by likeminded individuals — We sometimes find ourselves working on goals in isolation.
I have learnt that joining a group with like-minded individuals helps you to stay focused and accountable for achieving the goals you have set.
For example, if you are an artist, joining groups with new artists can help keep you focused and in hearing others struggles keep you motivated, knowing that you are not alone.
Believing you can’t start back if you stopped — Quite often as much as we don’t want to, we find ourselves stuck to the point of stopping.
It is hard to start back.
Considering what led to you desiring the goal in the first place will form part of the motivation for you to resume.
It is better to start again than to stop and never resume and live with regrets of what could have been.
Expecting overnight success — What stops us the most is when we expect overnight success, you have been working on this goal for some time and you see others get opportunities, but it is not happening for you — well not yet at least.
You get discouraged and want to give up because you had hoped it would have happen for you by now.
Most times we underestimate the amount of time needed to achieve a goal.
It is better to think of a goal as being a long term achievement and estimate much more time as it keeps us focused not on the goal, but the realization that we are not there yet.
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No matter what you want to achieve you will have moments when you feel stuck.
Focusing on being stuck won’t get you unstuck.
However, by doing a little each day, prioritizing each goal, learning to say no, surrounding yourself with like minded persons, being able to start again and not expecting overnight success will help you get and stay unstucked as you chart the path of your goal.
You only fail when you stop trying and never try again!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash
