Breakups are brutal, on both women and men! Being a detox expert, I’ve learned a thing or two about why some people come to me to lose weight or “detox.” One of the main scenarios is that they have gone through a breakup within the past year and simply don’t have the confidence they once had. They are unclear about what they want! Usually they are unclear because they have not fully moved on from their ex! They’ve not taken time alone—away from the dating scene! Many are trying to (literally) “detox” their ex out of their lives! One thing I always make sure of prior to taking on a client who has been through a break up is that they’ve taken time alone…taken time to just “be”! Below are the reasons I feel this is not just important, its a must! And it is especially important for men to learn how to detox now, too.
1. The cold hard facts are in~Women have done this for decades and are reaping the benefits!
It’s a proven fact; women are notorious for taking time off after dating! We know we need time alone and with friends to nurture the very essence of who we are! We openly express this with girlfriends over tea or coffee. We hit our yoga mats hard! We journal, cry and FEEL through our pain!
2. Your body will thank you.
One of the worst things you can do after a breakup is stay out on the prowl night after night! All of the drinking, smoke-filled bars and one night stands are sure to put a HUGE hamper on your immune system one way or another! GO DEEP! Grab a pen and paper and start writing your feelings down! By getting in touch with your more vulnerable side, you’ll be less likely to seek out a warm stranger for comfort.
3. Your mind will thank you.
Chances are, you’re going to want to talk about this breakup! A LOT! Be sure not to do it alone while looking at yourself in the mirror. It’s fine to go out with your friends once or twice per week during this time. This will allow you to avoid nostalgic emotions, which have the tendency to crop up (especially during the weekends as you remember the things you and your ex used to do together). Keep in mind however, the less chatter going on around you, the better! To gain clarity in silence is golden.
4. You will gain focus and perspective on what you really want.
It’s true, all this alone time and clarity of the mind will have you soon dreaming about the type of woman and relationship you know you deserve! It’s important to really tune into your heart at this time! Let your heart lead you to your soul mate.
5. Your next relationship won’t be a rebound.
OK, this one is tough for a lot of people to admit! When is the last time you actually took a full year without a single date~ not a one? Thought so! Know that this is hard on women who take the time to grieve then reprieve after a heartache, but we do it and as a result MOST of us are coming to you as whole and healed although bruised potential mates! We expect and deserve the same.
6. You’ll be less likely to pull the old “make sure theres nothing left” with your ex.
You heard me…How many of you have gone back to your ex during a new relationship just to make sure “it’s over”? As if everything she was bitching about when you left her had suddenly been tossed into the oblivion! That is death to your new relationship! If only you had taken the time (a full year) to heal the wounds, the pain, your damaged ego, self esteem and your heart! It’s called the “recovery theory” and it makes a lot of sense.
7. She deserves it.
Who is she? Your next partner, who may be the last partner you have. We’ve all been through a heartbreak where our new love interest didn’t take the time to be with themselves before promising us the moon, only to eventually admit they “just want to be alone.” Or even worse, they’re still in love with their ex. If you truly want to give the next girl a chance, take the time to date yourself first.
8. You will “show up” in your next relationship READY for a true commitment.
The most powerful personality trait to attract your ideal mate is to show up as your true authentic, wounded yet healed self in a relationship!
I know you want to! I feel you do as I write these very words! I see the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes! You have the desire to walk into your next relationship WHOLE, centered, open-hearted and honest!
Now go grab your backpack! You’re headed for an adventure into the wilderness of discovering who YOU truly are! To be the man you always have known you could be!
Andrea L Cox is a published fitness model who has written several books on juicing, raw vegan food, bulimia and detoxification. Andrea owns The Healthy Haven---home of everything detox! She is in demand for her cleansing retreats by both celebrities and the average house wife. Andrea’s YouTube channel has close to 600 videos and 2 million views, which draws clients who desire to live the healthiest life possible. She has appeared on multiple TV shows and has also been featured in numerous magazines including Fox San Diego, Muscular Development magazine, Pump fitness, Fashion 5.0 and Mind Body Green.