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Traditionally, women take on a bigger role in the wedding planning process than men—but that doesn’t mean you don’t have responsibilities. You’re going to be an equal part of this relationship, so you should step up by taking an equal role in the wedding planning process. However, if this is unfamiliar territory for you, or if you don’t have many men you can lean on for support in this matter, it may be a confusing or even intimidating process.
Fortunately, there are some useful considerations that can make the process much easier to manage.
Why Men Should Take More Initiative
These are just some of the reasons you should take on more responsibilities in your wedding planning process:
- The burden shouldn’t be on one person. Planning a wedding is a massive undertaking. It takes time and effort, and can be incredibly stressful. Those burdens shouldn’t be on just one person.
- Your tastes matter. Remember, this wedding belongs to both of you. Your tastes should matter, and be reflected in the décor you eventually choose.
- You’ll feel more accomplishment and pride on your wedding day. When it comes time to enjoy your actual wedding, you’ll feel a bigger sense of pride and accomplishment.
Things to Keep in Mind
So what are the most important things to keep in mind when planning a wedding?
- Not all brides want the same involvement. You should know that not all brides want the same level of involvement. Some will be overwhelmed with choices, and will want to lean on you for the majority of the big decisions. Others want to control everything, and would prefer that you stay as far away as possible. Most are somewhere in the middle. Before you start involving yourself, ask your partner how involved she wants you to be.
- Some things are best left to the bride. There are some decisions that are best made as a team, but there are also decisions that only the bride should make. For example, you both deserve a say in who gets invited, and the type of invitations you send out, but you shouldn’t debate your bride about what type of wedding dress to get. Let your bride decide things like the dress, the cake, the flowers, and other stylistic choices that are especially important to her.
- Conflicts are inevitable. No matter how hard you try to avoid them, you’re probably going to fight about something, whether it’s small or large, or whether it’s about the venue choice, family members, or your budget.
- Communication can resolve almost any problem. Fortunately, you should also know that communication can solve almost any problem. As long as you’re proactive, you listen carefully to your partner’s concerns, and you talk openly about your own thoughts and feelings, you can almost certainly find a compromise.
- These moments matter. Planning a wedding may seem like a means to an end; it’s all just a necessary process in getting to the actual wedding. But these moments matter. Take some time during the process to appreciate what you’re building together with your bride. You’ll look back on these memories fondly.
- Time management is everything. Your success in wedding planning will ultimately boil down to how you manage your time, and what options you choose for yourself. If you can, choose convenient options, such as online registries, which allow you to manage your resources online in the span of minutes, rather than hours. That doesn’t mean you should rush the process, but you shouldn’t make things harder than they need to be.
- It won’t happen overnight. Remain patient. Some decisions will take weeks, or even months to sort out—especially if you and your partner are perfectionists. Take things one step at a time, and realize the process won’t be over in a day. Schedule things as far in advance as possible, and set soft deadlines to keep yourself on track.
- Emotional support is just as important as logistical support. Finally, understand that while it’s important that you make contributions in terms of budgeting, making decisions, and executing your plans, it’s just as important (if not more so) to provide emotional support to your partner. When they’re feeling stressed, be extra kind to them. If they’re frustrated with a decision, set it aside until later. You have the power to make this process easier on both of you, so use it.
You’re on the road to cementing an amazing relationship, so you deserve to play a big part in making this wedding happen. Follow the tips on this list, and you’ll be in a much better position—and your bride-to-be will thank you.
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Photo credit: Getty Images