Being there for someone struggling with depression can be tricky, and it can be tempting to pull away rather than risk saying the wrong thing …
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by Anna Borges
But don’t do that. Your friends need you now more than ever. Just keep in mind that some of these well-meaning phrases might have a completely different meaning for someone with depression.
1. “But you seem so happy!”
Are you saying you don’t believe we’re depressed?
2. “Have you tried…?”
And if we haven’t, it’s because we don’t want to or maybe just aren’t ready to. While we appreciate the advice, sometimes we just need support.
3. “Let’s just go grab a drink and take your mind off it.”
Eh, let’s not treat our illness like a particularly hard day at work.
4. “You don’t look depressed.”
Huh, it’s almost like someone’s outward appearance has nothing to do with whatever illnesses they might be dealing with.
5. “Don’t worry, you’re strong enough to get through this.”
Thanks for the sentiment, but ~strength of character~ doesn’t really have anything to do with recovery.
6. “Aren’t you worried about meds turning you into a zombie?”
Aren’t you worried about how inappropriate it is to ask about someone’s chosen treatment methods?
7. “I understand, I get depressed sometimes, too.”
Unless you’re talking about your own struggle with depression, this is an easy way to make us feel invalidated in under three seconds.
8. “It gets better, just hang in there.”
Sooo…just keep suffering until it does?
But enough about what you shouldn’t say. Here’s what we actually want to hear:
For 15 more visit BuzzFeed here.
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Photo: Getty Images
The hidden assumption in this article is that depression is scary and a mystery. But what if there was an easy to understand explanation that made immediate sense to the person who is depressed. And that the explanation gave them hope. Well there is such an explanation. And there is hope and if you go to someone who knows this, then recovery happens for most people. It is based on something called the Human Givens and here is a good place to begin to find out more. http://andrewmrichardson.co.uk/depression/