People want to be close and communicate with others. To do that they have to feel they belong with them; that they share the same energy in general with them.
To feel that way, they have to share the same values, characteristics, emotions, and experiences, and through this way, rapport is built and both sides can open up easier.
Now, these things might seem a little hard to find out about someone you just met, so how can someone build familiarity with another person they are interested in?
Here we will analyze 8 simple tips that can assist in getting along with someone while keeping the romantic interest in the equation.
1. Promote Your Best Traits
The first thing out of the line is of course showing who you are and what it’s like being with you around.
The obvious thing when getting to know someone is to show a little of your world; what you like to do, how do you spend your time, favorite places to go, etc.
This way you help the person in front of you in opening up to you about their world as well. There are two key parts here though; one, try to offer your information one bite at a time, and two, sell yourself well.
Giving out all the information regarding yourself in the getgo is usually a bad idea because it will make you predictable and for some people less fun.
Now, to sell yourself well means to flush out your best characteristics, the ones that define you as a person, in a way that intrigues the other person.
Of course, by no means does it mean to lie about something you think you have or you are good at; it means to know yourself well and with that information to give a taste to the other person as to what it means to be you.
For example, showing up on time because it’s something you always do, striking a joke with a stranger in a confident and not awkward manner, etc.
Just remember to always stay true to yourself, and you will be able to show yourself up in the appropriate way.
2. Don’t Be Submissive
If you give focus to your best traits and are not afraid of your least good ones (which every person in the world has), you won’t have any issue with this.
The only thing to remember here is to not be overly nice and submissive to the other person’s requests or generally everything they express to you.
Most people won’t be sure how to handle a situation where the other person just agrees to everything they say or do or when they constantly grant them favors.
This shakes the balance of the scale between giving and taking and drops the romantic part of the equation by a notch.
All of us have certain problems we deal with in our everyday life and seeing a potential partner that isn’t confident enough to handle theirs isn’t the first thing anyone expects at the start of a relationship.
3. Show You Have More Options
By showing that you have more options than the other person, you make them think the exact opposite thing of when you are overly nice and available; you live your own life and you are dealing with your problems confidently.
This makes them more curious about you and enhances the romantic levels since you will seem like a person that can deal with the potential hardships of a relationship.
To clarify the “options” part, it’s not limited (nor advised) to have other people in your crosshairs besides them. It’s meant to describe that you are not constantly thinking about them and that you have your own life to live.
For instance, it might mean that you have hobbies and interests, that you’ve got friends that you go out for a walk, etc. This way they won’t know your exact schedule, something that as I’ve said makes them more curious.
4. Be Fun to Be Around To/Tease
Nothing good starts with too much seriousness or negative emotions and no human wants more of these in their lives.
By making yourself seem that you are having a good time, you not only actualize it for you, but you lighten the mood and help the other person have a good time as well.
The feelings of happiness aid in improving the romantic levels felt by both parties since humans are naturally attracted to what brings them joy.
Specifically for the male audience, teasing the other person you are attracted to in a polite and fun way, helps in setting up a playful and joyful atmosphere.
5. Don’t Try to Prove Something
A little correlated to the previous point, if you want to seem fun to be around to it is good practice not to try to prove you are something you are not.
This is not a race; the person next to you most likely would want to meet you and learn about your true self, not something different and possibly fake.
What’s more attractive than a person who knows who they are and seem to be cool about it, or even glad about it?
Moreover, trying to prove something makes you not only seem less confident about your characteristics, but also untrustworthy.
Just live the moment!
6. Physical Contact
Of course, to build up romantic tension, physical contact is a must. But, this is also something to proceed with extreme caution.
When getting it off with someone, it’s good to get more erotic with them in a way that makes the other party feel comfortable, valued, and flattered.
In Alan and Barbara Pease’s book “The Definitive Book of Body Language”, they said that your body language is better to be straight up and open, looking the other person directly in their eyes, smiling and nodding when they are talking, and speaking in a similar tone and volume as the other person.
Furthermore, it’s good to not only know when to touch the other person but also where. If you feel that you aren’t invading the other person’s personal space, touch them in the elbow; it’s a spot that helps in building familiarity.
7. Compliment Them
Aside from touching, looking, and speaking romantically what helps in getting along with the other person is sincerely complimenting them.
You engage in a conversation with a person that you like; what do you find attractive in them? what exact trait(s) made you think that way? Answering these questions sincerely can help you find the right compliments to make.
In addition, compliments are best when they describe a certain psychological aspect of the person. Compliments like “you are pretty/handsome” or “I like your figure” are sounding kind of shallow even if they are honest.
Compliments on the character, on the other hand, show that you pay attention to the other person and that you have certain traits you like and look out to find in other people.
So, compliments like “I love the way you laugh” or “Your face looks very bright when you smile” can go a long way into establishing a special place in another person’s heart.
Just be completely honest with what you like about them, and the appropriate comments will appear in your mind and the ears of the other person.
8. Be a Challenge
Last on the list, even though the aforementioned 7 points if done can increase the romantic tension by a considerable amount, is to make yourself seem like a challenge to the other person.
The fastest way to seem like a challenge is by portraying yourself as an ambitious person. Now by no means do I urge you to act ambitiously if you don’t feel like it or just to get the other person’s attention.
To portray yourself as such you have to truly feel ambitious in your life and have hopes, dreams, and goals of your own that you find extremely important to fulfill.
By seeming ambitious to the other person they will not only feel intrigued to have a chance to be with an inspiring person (and potential partner), but they will also feel that you’ve got your life together; something that as we have said is quite appealing.
Building familiarity is important for forming the appropriate romantic atmosphere and increasing the chances of getting along with someone and sealing the deal.
There are many ways to do that, but successfully implementing the 8 aforementioned points can help you in establishing yourself most pleasingly and erotically simultaneously.
Guides & Prompts
1. Learn more about psychology and the human mind: 2KnowMyself
2. Read more about psychology and relationships: PsychMechanics, PairedLife, and LearningMind
Previously Published on medium
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