We are divided, in the US, in the UK, in the world.
Trump lost. Now we can mark the occasion with a fresh start and move on swiftly from the last 4 years.
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1. Baby Steps
If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room. — Anita Koddick
Lack of action is more damaging than speaking up. In fact, silence enables the bully. But one of the most effective ways to speak up in a non-aggressive way is by voting, and this year, the voting numbers were higher than ever before.
This is only a small step of many, but it is further proof that we all need each other to make great changes. But it all starts with you as an individual.
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2. Facing Harsh Truths
People get more upset by being called a racist than by racist things happening. — Akala
People are very quick to defend themselves. But when your attention is on defending your views more than the issue with racism, you’re not helping.
I have had countless conversations with people who start a sentence with “I’m not racist but” to justify their views because they aren’t educated. But for as long as people follow any statement denouncing anti-racism with a “but”, they are denouncing those who are trying to speak up against it.
Which leads me to my next point.
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3. Seek Out Opportunities to Learn
We are still conditioning people in this country and, indeed, all over the globe to the myth of white superiority. We are constantly being told that we don’t have racism in this country anymore, but most of the people who are saying that are white. White people think it isn’t happening because it isn’t happening to them.— Jane Elliot
Let’s compare these two statements, both of which I have heard people use.
“What happened to George Floyd is terrible, but it’s heartbreaking to see protesters bringing down all the historical monuments!”
“It’s terrible that they’re bringing down the historical monuments, but what happened to George Floyd is heartbreaking!”
I’m sure I don’t need to explain the difference of the wording, but I’ll point out that it sure matters.
I have been exposed to racism much more than the average white woman because I am with a black man. I am also privileged to have made great friends with people from all over the world who have taught me so much, but most of all, to be open-minded.
And there lies the issue. For as long as you are not exposed to the world, there is so much you won’t know.
This is called ignorance.
You as a person may not be racist, but that does not mean that it does not exist or that you do not participate unconsciously. To admit that you are part of the problem doesn’t have to mean you are guilty of racism in the form of hatred.
It means you are guilty of being human.
Because everyone, literally everyone, is ignorant.
And there is nothing wrong with that. All we can do is try to learn as much as possible.
It is the denial of ignorance that is wrong.
It is the refusal to learn that is wrong.
This is where trust comes in. If there wasn’t a problem with racism still today, there wouldn’t be an organisation claiming that Black Lives Matter.
There wouldn’t be so much outrage every time a black person was shot by police.
People would not feel intimidated by a Muslim man dressed in a thobe in a shopping mall.
I would not have witnessed an English man getting angry at the mere presence of a Polish man at a friend’s barbecue.
I would not, through my work as a Refugee Resettlement Officer, have witnessed countless events of hostility and bullying from professionals and students against people from another country.
Never mind whether the media exaggerates or twists the news. Never mind those who are using the protests as a way to behave appallingly. They’re irrelevant and a whole other issue.
Strip off what the media says about anything and just use common sense. If someone was asking you for help, you would naturally just want to help, because people are generally kind. Right?
You don’t need to help in the form of donations, and you don’t need to change much.
You just need to be willing to listen and learn.
***
4. Think of the Kids
I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace. — Thomas Paine
I hope this resonates with you as much as it does with me. Being a mother is my strength. My son is my motivation to put thoughts into words. He is my inspiration to speak up and stand for what’s right.
He is multi-racial, and he does not deserve to grow up feeling different because of a lack of education.
He deserves to be able to celebrate and embrace his qualities.
I think of the question my son might ask me when he’s older:
“What have you done to help fight racism?”
I’ll be proud to tell him that I have always, regardless of there being protests about it or not, been pro-race. I’ll be proud to show him some of my articles.
My Son Challenged Racism at Just 18-Months of Age
I’ll be proud to tell him I participated in helping those in need, at every opportunity that I had, regardless of the colour of their skin or their status in the country, through my work and voluntarily.
I’ll be proud to tell him that I have called people out and made them feel uncomfortable when they acted with prejudice.
Why You Have to Call People Out
I care about what my son thinks of me, and it makes me want to do better.
Hopefully, I will have written a book or two by then too, and spoken about love and anti-racism publicly.
Hopefully, he will never need to ask me that question because my actions will answer it for him.
I hope that this is not just a motivator for me but for many others to want to do good in times of controversy and divisiveness. Would you want your children to be proud, too?
***
5. Necessary Problems
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. — Frederick Douglass
Setbacks are part of life. Interpret them as necessary steps to achieve anything and you’ll see progress where you would not have before. See the setbacks of the last 4 years in the US as opportunities to learn. See the change that’s coming as progress.
Turning the struggle into something positive may alleviate the feeling of the struggle itself.
***
6. You Own Your Mind
Excellence is the best deterrence to racism or sexism — Oprah
Oprah is literally walking proof of this. She will let nothing touch her. We just have to choose not to let anyone overpower our minds with their ignorant comments or nasty actions. How do we do this?
We can start by saying “no, thank you”.
Although I have argued with many people who have different views to me, I realise that it’s extremely hard to change anyone’s mind.
For as long as racism remains verbal, the power is within us to literally choose not to be affected by it. That’s the ultimate win.
In an interview during Black History Month, Morgan Freeman was asked the question “what would you say we should do to stop racism?”, his answer was “stop talking about it”. While I don’t wholeheartedly agree because I somewhat believe that silence will enable racism further spread in the world, I personally will be teaching my son not to be phased by verbal racism. I will teach him that although racism is never to be condoned, he does not need to let them pierce his mind.
***
7. Love
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hatred cannot drive out hatred; only love can do that — Martin Luther King Jr.
And to love others, you must start with loving yourself, by giving yourself the kindness you deserve. When you feel loved by yourself you won’t want to hate anyone else.
The Power of Fear and Positivity
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8. Keep On Loving
No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. — Nelson Mandela
Respond with love to everyone who hates, and they’ll have nothing to argue about. Prove them wrong by just being kind.
***
9. Working Together
Our unity is our strength, and our diversity is our power. — Kamala Harris
Integration of communities does not mean loss of culture.
When we embrace our differences and work together we can build a vibrant life full of colour.
When you get to know people from all walks of life, you find that there is more to the world than what you know. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate having friends from all over the world. Knowing them has educated me more than school ever could.
Because everyone you meet has a lesson to teach, and if you’re willing, you have so much to learn.
And knowledge is power.
***
Last Words
Everyone will face hardships, some more than others. It’s not a competition as to who struggles more. It’s not a race to get ahead of any one person.
Love comes in abundance, there is plenty for everyone, and everyone deserves it. Nobody else’s situation but your own is any of your business, but at the same time, it is your duty to make sure you are not having a detrimental effect on anyone else.
Just live, and be kind.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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