Get out there and do yourself justice. You are unique and there is a perfect match for you.
When your as-yet-unmet-but-possibly-perfect romantic partner is slogging through online dating profiles, it’s best if yours stands out. But you’d prefer that it be memorable in a good way.
If you feel like you have more strike outs than you deserve try updating your profile. Here are 9 suggestions:
#1 Lose any mug shot that makes you look like a criminal.
A photo is your (online) opportunity to make a first impression, and making a positive impression is key. Maybe toss aside the photo of you scowling, looking annoyed, or stressed (most likely caused by the frustration of trying to take a selfie that actually looks like YOU.) Also reject those that are blurry, or were taken 10 years ago. And if you are wearing a hat, sunglasses, or both, it’s difficult to see your face – and possible partners want a chance to see your features.
Yes we realize the hat may be covering up a scarcity of hair, but you know that is likely to be noticeable at first meeting. And if we only see a photo of you in a hat and sunglasses we really have no idea what you look like. We can’t see into your eyes, which have been described as the “windows to the soul.”
#2 List some activities others might engage in.
If you only list sports, there’s a good chance potential partners will move on to the next profile. Find some activities that appeal to many people, like movies, dinner, walks or museums. Of course, don’t list things you’re not interested in because then you’d have to explain or pretend to enjoy those activities.
#3 Write something unusual or thoughtful about yourself.
Find something to say. If you can’t figure out what to write ask a friend or relative for their opinion. You can even see what others have written in their profile to get ideas. This is your chance to describe what makes you unique.
When you say you hate talking about yourself, it rarely comes across as humble. Often it appears you’re unwilling to share or not very self-observant.
#4 List your astrological sign anyway.
I know, most guys apparently don’t believe in astrology. And maybe the majority of people don’t either. But if you don’t list it you come across as a poor sport. Besides, if someone is a firm believer they might just move on to the next profile, even if you were the perfect astrological match.
#5 – List your income.
If you don’t include your income people might assume you either make very little money or you make a lot but don’t want others to know. If you are holding on to information like your salary you come across as stubborn, independent and rejecting – before you’ve even met.
# 6 – Don’t check off every category.
Either you’re looking for a committed relationship or you’re looking for casual dating. They are not the same thing. Be up front and state what you want so potential partners will know if your goals are a match. If you’re not clear on what you want, take some time to figure it out.
#7 – Show interest to people in your city, or at least in your state.
Many people don’t understand why they get winks from other parts of the country. What does that mean? Is it to cheer you on in your search? Or are you just bored with those in your state or country? Respect the online dating process and people’s time. If you’re planning on moving there soon, fine. Otherwise, stick to your geographic area.
#8 – Don’t list all your bad experiences.
When you say things like “no drama” or “high morals” you come off as judgmental. This is your first experience with someone new. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they have high morals and aren’t into drama either.
Or best of all find a way to express it in a playful, positive light. “Looking for someone who is playful, able to laugh easily, flexible, or lighthearted.”
#9 – Are you really willing to date a woman who is seven feet tall or 99 years old?
Consider what is really attractive to you. Otherwise instead of looking non-judgmental you come across as desperate or not wanting to take the time to consider what you want.
If you create a thoughtful, accurate summary of yourself you are far more likely to discover a match.
Of course, just because it appears you might be a match on paper, doesn’t mean that the two of you will be a “fit.” There are many things that are difficult to convey through an online profile such as personality, intelligence, chemistry, style and sense of humor. For instance, maybe you’ve noticed how people love running their fingers through your hair.
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
Photo: Getty Images