A Beautiful Example of Masculinity

Unexpected

My friend is a retired fire captain. Recently he told me about getting called to a house that was becoming engulfed in flames. As the captain, it was his job to gather his crew outside the house and relay the strategy on how they were going to approach this fire.

After he spelled out his plan, he ended by saying, “If anyone has a better idea, speak up now”.

From the back of the group, the newest recruit, the guy who had just finished his training, the one with the least experience— piped up.

Here’s what he said.

“My family is in the roofing business. I can tell you right now, that is a bad roof.”

Had they gone with the original plan set by the captain, somebody could very easily have died or been severely injured.

Thank god he spoke up.

My friend then worked with the recruit to figure out a better course of action given the condition of the roof.

This was a perfect example of true masculinity — and here’s why.

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He will have a plan

A masculine man loves solving problems and will always have a plan in mind when encountering one.

He may not have it all worked out, but he generally has a strategy, an approach, or a method to start with.

That is the mark of a leader.

They establish a plan of action.

I generally find that masculine men have a solid sense of leadership. Especially in a situation that calls for someone to step up and take action. To do that, you must have some kind of plan, even if it is only the first step or two.

And then they must have the ability to adjust, course correct, or scrap everything and start over with a different plan if need be.

Here’s where I think people have been misled about masculinity.

A true masculine man is not looking for total obedience and submission, he is looking to determine and execute a plan that will solve the problem at hand.

He’s not seeking power or control; he’s looking to fix a problem, find a solution, or resolve the issue.

And to do that, a good leader must do something that perhaps doesn’t seem very masculine on the surface.

…

He will remain receptive

When facing a problem, a masculine man will remain open, receptive, and inquisitive as to whether there is a better way — whether he figures it out himself or it comes from someone else.

And if there is a better plan, he will embrace it and roll with it — which is exactly what my friend did.

Being in one’s masculine energy is about stepping up and serving as a leader, which requires staying receptive to input from those you are leading.

What I love about how my friend handled this situation is that he remained open to other people telling him what he may have missed, what he might need to be aware of, or what other information might be relevant to having a successful execution.

And in this case, doing so likely saved someone’s life.

…

Safe, Protected, and Included

When I think about a masculine man, I think about him being a leader, a provider, and a protector of his tribe, no matter how big or small that tribe may be.

To me, masculine energy feels safe, protective, and inclusive.

That’s because when the masculine energy is focused on protecting their tribe — it includes every member of that tribe, including the weakest, smallest, youngest, oldest, least skilled, and the least knowledgeable.

Everyone counts. And the leader is responsible for all each of them.

This is why I oftentimes see masculine men who are willing to fight to protect the lives, rights, and freedoms of all people — even those whom they may not agree with. No man is left behind. Every member of the tribe counts — even when it is a tribe the size of a whole nation.

Very impressive.

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Only one person can take the wheel

I love when a man strikes that beautiful balance between being in command as a leader when needed, but also being receptive to outside input, helping to craft and redirect what his leadership is going to look like as he proceeds through his process.

Finding that balance is something that I see in masculine men that impresses me every time.

And that’s partly because as a feminine woman, I am delighted when my man takes the wheel.

Remember. Only one person can drive the boat at a time.

And as a feminine woman, I am an active participant in helping him steer. I will speak up, chime in, offer ideas, and state my feelings, and when a man is receptive to what I offer, this allows me to feel relaxed, cared for, and heard.

That also builds my trust in him.

Which I suspect is exactly what happened with the crew my fireman friend was leading that day.

When he said, “If anyone here has a better idea, speak up now,” he created an equal opportunity for any member of his crew (or tribe) to contribute to the solution.

A true leader will recognize that any member of their tribe has the power to contribute something of value.

Even if it comes from someone unexpected. ❤

🙋🏻‍♀️ I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments — chime in!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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Photo credit: bruce mars on Unsplash