Falling in love is very easy, but building a healthy relationship is not as easy as we think.
Forming a healthy relationship requires good knowledge and awareness about human psychology.
A relationship is full of emotions, and it’s important that two people in a relationship respect and acknowledge their emotions.
I was in a relationship a few years ago when I was in my early adulthood, and I had literally no awareness about relationships.
My ex-partner was so sensitive; she always gets annoyed and fights with me over silly things, which really made me frustrated.
When I think about that now, I regret that I always focused on her yelling but never thought about what made her yell at me.
It’s a far-ahead realization, but I learned a crucial lesson that I wanted to share, which is very essential to looking for and forming a healthy and lifelong relationship.
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Lesson: Never consider your partner’s emotions invalid.
This was the one mistake I committed in my relationship. My ex-partner was a sensitive person, and I feel she always overreacted to silly things.
Emotions are something very complex, and we cannot judge someone by the way they express their emotions about things we find silly.
The problem is not their reaction, but why do they react to things that we feel are silly?
I really never thought about the cause of the reaction, but I was always annoyed with her sensitivity. After years, I realized that I didn’t have much maturity or awareness about the root cause of her sensitivity.
What makes someone oversensitive?
Any uncertain and strange incident can leave a deep imprint on someone’s mind and can lead to trauma.
These uncertain incidents, which cause trauma, make them oversensitive when they feel they are going to be hit by such incidents.
In my past relationship, she overreacted to silly things, and I always accused her of simply overreacting to everything, which just escalated the fight.
Tip: Never tell your partner that he or she is overreacting; it won’t soothe him or her; instead, it just escalates the fight.
She literally had a bad childhood, which made her sensitive, which I never thought about, and the truth is, I never had the knowledge, maturity, or awareness to know about this thing.
After these many years, I came to know about the impact that one’s childhood creates on their relationships.
Happy childhood creates happy relationships, and childhood trauma leads them to make the relationship chaotic.
It’s important to make sure about the childhood of your partner, which helps to know about their emotional fluctuations.
In today’s generation, people ask their partner about their past relationships, their social media passwords, and other unwanted details that just give them cheap entertainment.
But they never observe their emotional triggers and ask about the things that really daunt them.
Childhood is an important part of one’s life. It’s the period that structures the emotional part of a person.
If you find your partner is overly reactive, which disturbs the sanity of the relationship, then it’s important to look into the root cause of the problem and not just look at the thing that annoys you.
The troubling thing that causes them to overreact can only be solved when the root cause has been identified and the person understands it with love and care so that they change over time.
Remember, love has the power and patience to change everything.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Nick Fewings on Unsplash
