I don’t know where to begin. How do you think you know someone? But not know them? It’s not pretty. I finally digested the guy I knew wasn’t who I thought he was.
I reconciled with it.
But the story got worse.
I thought he was a good guy. I thought he was just a private person. Neither was true. He wasn’t private. He was doing things he didn’t want other people to know about.
He talked about everyone.
I chalked it up to not being happy.
Even when it irritated me.
The things that got back to me weren’t true. Especially what he said about me. I dismissed it. I truly thought he had a lot on his plate and wasn’t happy.
I thought the best of him.
I was wrong.
It shocks me.
He was arrogant. He thought he was smarter than everyone. I don’t know if it was a game to him, or if his insecurities drove him. Or if he was simply reckless.
Suffice it to say he was seeing multiple women at once.
Don’t worry.
I wasn’t one of them.
But my friend was one of them. I was aggravated for her. I was worried for her. I hurt for her. I took the high road. I talked her down. I told her don’t burn down his house.
Don’t do tit for tat.
It’s wrong.
She listened to me.
You can’t make up what happened next. It surprised me. I didn’t see it coming. I thought the worst was over. No harm, no fowl.
This is where I don’t know whether he was stupid or insecure.
Why would a man brag about this??!!
But he did.
Word got back to my friend over the weeks following their goodbyes. Men that knew him said he had been seeing multiple women at once. They said he bragged about it.
He thought he was a big man on campus.
But the dumbass didn’t realize he was bragging to ‘good men.’
The kind of men who wouldn’t do that.
To any woman.
I’m dumbfounded. I never knew this man. He wasn’t the good guy that I thought he was. He probably doesn’t realize the guys didn’t think he was either.
They didn’t respect him.
Because good men are good to women.
They aren’t middle-aged men embarrassing themselves by mistreating women. They aren’t the kind of guys dating three women at once, while making all of the women think they are exclusive.
They aren’t insecure jerks.
It’s sad.
A grown man bragging that he’s hooking up with three women at once.
That’s not remotely confident. It’s not remotely respectful. It’s not remotely normal. It’s not remotely a good ole boy conversation to have with your buddies.
Because a good man would never treat…
Nor take advantage of…
Nor talk about a woman like that.
But this guy (who it turns out I never knew) was oddly proud about it.
Enough to brag.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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