I recently read a topic in a discussion about the MGTOW movement (Men going their own way) and I notice many of the women seemed to just bring up all of the negative that’s attached to these types of groups. None of them seemed to ask or care about why men feel the need to go their own way. Every man’s experience isn’t the same so instead of stamping a limiting idea of what you think it is just ask. Ask men. Listen. So I hope that sharing my experience will give women a different perspective of why I went the direction that I went. I’m always an individual but I related to many of the men who chose this lifestyle. So here’s a piece of my views and my personal journey.
Ladies just like anything the MGTOW community has its positives and negatives. Pros and cons. Does the red pill and MGTOW community has some incel energy? Yep. Is there some misogyny and toxic behavior? Yes. It’s just never good to label and box something in and lump everyone into one category. If you’re not a man you’re not supposed to understand it unless you hear it from us. If you keep your mind open before you slap your own limiting label on it you may hear a variety of experiences from different men. I am glad to tell you some of my own personal experiences and perspective on why this path worked for me. I’m not a part of any specific movement but I can relate.
After I was divorced 5 years ago I went my own way before I even knew what the MGTOW was. I just took a break. I was tired of disappointments, letdowns, and conditional love. I became exhausted and pulled away from relationships to be alone and invest in myself. I’m not an incel, I’m not a misogynist and I don’t hate women. I love women. My journey didn’t take away from anyone nor required me to bash anyone. It was just my time to be still, discover what I liked and find quiet moments that I could hear from God.
There were content creators that were male-focused that helped me through some tough times. Every man needs mentors, father figures, and a brotherhood. Men that had similar experiences know what you’re going through. So ladies I want you to see another side of this movement. I went my own way and my journey led to an elevated mindset. I became more connected than ever and I began to vibrate higher. I worked on myself and I believe that I’m a more enlightened individual because of it. Honestly, a life of solitude gets so comfortable that you never want to come out of your shell. I’ve been slowly working my way back though. There’s a season of winter and there’s a season of spring. You have to know when it’s time to rest, be planted, and grow.
My goal in writing this is for women to see another side of a man that steps away from relationships after going through the hurt of a breakup. No one likes going through pain and many like to project and point the finger outward when really it should be pointed inwardly. Jumping right to a new relationship doesn’t help anything either. It’s selfish and most likely you’ll keep going through the same cycle by attracting the same types of partners. We all need a pause to look at ourselves. It’s called accountability.
There were a lot of hidden revelations that were brought out after I went through those challenging times. While I was married I may have taken the two becoming one too literal because I lost myself. When we separated I felt like I was out in a remote wilderness without a compass. Life became scary, dark, and uncertain but when your life wants to shift you must go through that to get to a new level. I had to be lonely and go back to the basics. I had to go back to a time in my life where things were much simpler.
I started to appreciate things that I took for granted before like a day of nice weather, fluffy clouds in the sky, the rhythm of the rain, the fall leaves, a good night’s sleep, a great conversation, and enjoying a hobby. You can forget all of those things when you get so wrapped up in a person. That’s not loving. That’s an unhealthy obsession. When you invest in a relationship or marriage you should bring everything that makes you happy, alive, and joyful to your partner. They should also do the same. Then you can build something new together that keeps growing and evolving. A man that goes his own way isn’t always a woman-hater or broken. Many of us go our own way to become better human beings, better men, and better partners for you.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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