Jimmy is a guy I’ve crossed paths with several times at the deli I go to. The same deli that another narcissist I’ve been having close encounters with,
works at.
Three days ago, I saw Jimmy in the store and we got into an actual conversation where he told me about an argument he had with his girlfriend, Diana, last week.
(and it was in this conversation I would discover that he was a narcissist.)
Apparently, they got drunk and whatever took place (he didn’t remember) resulted in him telling her that he didn’t need her and that she’d never find a man like him.
(Specifically, because of his money and looks.)
Jimmy also made it a point to tell Diana that he’d make it his business to make sure his next girl was twice as attractive as her…
Before pointing out how each of his ex-girlfriends looked progressively better than the one before them.
(DO NOT forget these words.)
Jimmy ended it by letting her know he could get another girl like this *snaps fingers*.
Diana ended it by hanging up the phone.
…
The Hoovering Began
The next day he realized she had him blocked so he showed up at her gym because he knew her routine so he knew where to find her.
He told her to unblock him and detailed how he put on his charm and eventually wore her down (within the same day).
Aside from telling me how much he loved her, he mentioned how she was still upset about that fight. I pointed out that his words were gutwrenching and that things like that won’t be forgotten.
They can’t be.
His response to that was to reason that he was drunk so it wasn’t really his fault. I told him that a drunk man speaks no lies. But then the conversation took an unexpected turn,
Once his phone went off.
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The New Supply
He looked at his phone and smiled before mentioning a party he went to last weekend, where he got the number of this “bad Guyanese chick with long hair”.
(excuse me, what?)
I did a double take because we had been talking for a couple of hours at this point and Diana had called him 2–3 times.
I realize now he was breadcrumbing her as he had only picked up that first call to tell her he’d call her back but ignored the rest of them. Yet, was actively texting another woman he just met…
Last weekend.
I needed to know,
Wait, you’re dating her? Are you gonna date her?
For a moment, it was like he didn’t know how to say yes or no to the question. Or whether or not he should.
So, instead, he repeated how bad she was and explained to me that she had her own place and a good-paying job. Before telling me he would be pursuing her.
I thought I was in the twilight zone because a good portion of our conversation centered around this fight he had with his girlfriend and how much he loved her and fought (hoovered and love-bombed) to get her back.
Now, he was casually throwing another woman into the mix like it was nothing.
I had to ask him,
Wait… you’re in an open relationship?
I swear to you, Jimmy looked like he’d been busted as he told me no.
That’s when I finally asked him,
What about Diana?
What happened next was the reason I’m writing this article.
…
Moment of Truth
You could literally see it on Jimmy’s face, he was caught.
He looked at me with that smirk people get on their faces when they’ve done something wrong and know there’s no way around the evidence.
Jimmy put his hands up (almost in surrender), stuttering,
I mean… I’m a man…
Before finally saying,
I always keep two women. Always two. At all times. When one acts up I don’t even argue I leave them alone because clearly you got a problem so you deal with that over there.
I still care about you. I’m still thinking about you. But until you calm down I’ll be over here. I will always have two women. Sometimes three or four, but that costs too much money. So, always two.
My heart broke.
All I could think about was Diana and how she had no idea how true every word Jimmy had said to her last week was.
She had no clue that she was actually being triangulated with new supply as we speak and that it happened within days of the actual fight.
As she was healing, he was lining up her replacement.
And he was going to hurt her using this new supply.
Because he did the same to his ex-wife with Diana.
…
According to Jimmy
He never did anything wrong to her (or in any of his relationships) and emphasized the amount of money he put into his ex-wife and her hair salon; because she’s a hairdresser.
He claimed when the money dried up she left him high and dry but made it a clear point to say she wanted him back but her wouldn’t take her back.
But he also said something that alarmed me.
(Remember, earlier, when I told you not to forget those words he spoke to Diana Well they’re gonna come into play right now.)
Jimmy told me that he told his ex-wife the same thing he said to Diana; that he would get a chick that looked better than her.
Diana was that chick.
Jimmy and his ex-wife share a daughter and he made sure to weaponize this too as he told her that when he came to pick up his daughter he wouldn’t even get out of the car.
Instead, he’d send his new woman (Diana) to go to the door and get her. He told me this with a smile on his face as he told me how badly this affected his ex-wife.
But I was bothered by something that he did prior to giving me this information. Jimmy had shown me pictures of his daughter on his Instagram.
In one of these pictures, she was with Diana, and I thought Diana was her mother (based on how it looked) until he corrected me. It felt weird when I saw it but I didn’t know why until he made this comment.
He had done that to hurt his ex-wife.
…
The Game of Leave-or-Be-Left
You could tell it really bothered Jimmy that his ex-wife discarded him because he admitted that she was the only woman to ever do so.
(He made it a point to make sure I knew he was the one who broke up with everyone else.)
For whatever reason, Diana brought up this fact in their argument, which stung him. Now, he was lining up a woman that he perceived as better looking and a woman he knew Diana would perceive as better looking as well.
This was payback, for her role in their argument, and for setting a boundary by blocking him the day after it.
This was also about Jimmy saving his fragile ego.
Because if Diana bruises it by leaving, he saves face by having another woman already waiting to replace her; specifically, one who he believes will be deemed prettier than the one he just had.
He didn’t love this woman at all.
And she had no idea.
Suddenly, I felt for a woman I had never even met because not only were her worst fears coming true but they were already in the process of actively being materialized. And this only happened a few days after their fight.
This was intentional.
Jimmy, like most narcissists, was triangulating Diana because he couldn’t handle the consequences of being on the receiving end of whatever his actions might bring.
So, instead of actually changing his behaviors he is going to continue the vicious cycle of changing his partners. This was a game of leave or be left, and all narcissists are playing it.
This is the MO.
This is why they triangulate.
© Linda Sharp 2023. All Rights Reserved.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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