This one’s gonna be short and sweet. I think.
The election has got me thinking. Can you relate?
I don’t want to get into politics today. Not my specialty and overall I find them too divisive to gain traction in a real and intelligent conversation.
Instead, I’d rather talk about core principles of life. And I’m going to share my core principles with you.
In no particular order, they are…
- Honesty
- Kindness
- Unity
These are the values I try to live by. They are the unifiers of the friendships, partnerships and relationships I tend to seek. They are the vibe of the situations and places I spend the most time in.
And, they are most definitely the qualities I try to instill in and teach to my sons.
Also, my marriage is built on these cornerstones. Are we perfect? Heck no. Do we ace the exam every minute of every day? Nope. Do we strive relentlessly to live there, and if we’re not there do we try as quickly as we can to get back? YES.
Let’s start with Honesty. Without that, in my opinion – we have nothing. If I can’t trust your word, then I can’t be in any sort of productive relationship with you. Do I slip up and tell a fib or even an outright lie now and then? Yes absolutely. I’ve definitely been guilty my fair share of times. BUT, the only way back from there is to pause, and fully acknowledge the error. And then there’s a chance to return to trust and respect.
In fact, the way I learned how to be honest was this: one of my mentors suggested that any time I told a lie – to immediately catch myself, and then let the person I told the lie to know “hey I just lied to you, I’m sorry, and here’s the truth…”
I tried it a couple of times. My truth meter went way up after that.
Kindness. This one has always made nothing but sense to me. Essentially, do unto others…
Life is hard enough when we’re each going about our own business. But when I start knocking you down, stabbing you in the back, judging you…
Here’s what I believe – I am what I’m putting into the world. What I give is what I get.
It might not be immediate. But on a macro, holistic level I believe in vibrations, and if I’m stepping into my day and treating the people and places around me with kindness and respect, then I believe that is what the universe will give to me in the long run.
Does it mean that bad things don’t happen to good people? Absolutely not. We all know that horrible things happen to innocent people every day.
I’m only talking about what I can control. And what I can control is doing my best to bring something positive into the world. Trying to lift people up instead of knocking them down. If I’m doing that – I can sleep at night. And I can look myself in the mirror and say “you’re doing your best buddy.”
And lastly, my good friend unity. Lately, I’ve been thinking deeply about how much this one means to me.
I’m a huge fan of harmony. Of unity. Of togetherness.
I think it’s a big part of why I became a musician, a storyteller, and an entertainer.
I love live events where we’re drawn together for a single pure purpose and we get to set aside our differences to get on board some sort of cosmic and emotional experience.
Nothing beats a transcendent live concert for me.
As a kid I saw Bruce Springseen do it. I saw Prince do it. I saw David Bowie do it.
They were magicians who created these incredible, cathartic communal experiences for giant crowds of humans who’d never met before – but who felt like one connected organism for a couple of hours.
But I digress.
Unity. Does it mean we need to be one hundred percent in agreement on all things at all times? God no. We are human. Part of the beauty of humanity is that we are all different (whilst all the same in so many ways).
But it does mean that when I disagree with someone, I communicate through it in a way that is 1) honest and 2) kind.
Some of the greatest growth experiences I’ve had with my wife have been when we disagreed about something. Or when we felt differently about an issue.
The key to getting through to a common ground – has always been the ability to communicate respectfully, and to LISTEN.
Speaking of which, I think I’ve said enough. I’d love to hear what you think about any of this. And/or – what are your core principles of life?
Ari Welkom, known on stage as Avatari, is an LA-based alt-rock singer and actor. A Harvard graduate, married father of two, and former college athlete, he practices martial arts and champions anti-bullying, equal rights, and unity on his journey of recovery. Follow him on Instagram or Twitter (X)!
See his videos on YouTube
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
