A Reminder When You Want to Stop Feeling

“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!”

Call me by your name — Andre Aciman

I first heard this line six years ago while watching that movie, and it still sits heavily in my chest. Because if I’m honest, there was a time when I would have done anything to feel less.

Maybe you’ve been there too.

You pour so much into someone, your time, your energy, your softness — and sometimes you end up with empty hands and a broken heart. It makes you wonder: Am I the problem? Should I stop giving? Should I just stop feeling altogether?

I get it. That protective voice is loud when you’ve been hurt.

But here’s what I’ve learned the hard way, and what I want to gently remind you today:

All the love you give never really disappears.

It might not come back from the same person, or in the exact way you hoped. But it comes back. Sometimes in quieter, kinder, better forms. New people. Deeper connections. A version of love that actually feels safe to receive.

Every time we get burned, it’s tempting to rip out another piece of ourselves, give less next time, protect harder, or go completely numb. And yes, we should learn. We should build better boundaries when we keep losing ourselves. But don’t let the bad chapters convince you that your way of loving is wrong.

There’s still so much love left in you. And there are still people out there who are worthy of it — people who will feel lucky to be loved by you

The ones who left? They got a version of you. The ones still coming? They might get an even richer one.

I often think — what if I had shut down? What if I had let those experiences turn me cold?

I would have missed it all.

I would have missed the love I was ready to receive. The love I was meant to give. I would’ve missed the amazing ones who showed up later. I would’ve stayed stuck, replaying old hurts while life kept offering me better.

Don’t let the pain turn you into something you are not. There are people out there waiting for you to sit at their table.

With Love, Laura 💌

If you like these kinds of real, bite-sized reflections, Mind Snacks is where I share one every week. Feel free to drop your own thoughts or situations there too — I’ll give you my honest take or advice when it fits

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