“Why don’t you ever want to get married?”
Silence lingered, making me regret my question.
“Because I might want to be with someone else someday.”
I walked away, leaving the pieces of my broken heart on the floor.
The Beginning
An early morning job interview meant dressing up, leaving my studio apartment in Koreatown, and driving to a new apartment building between Sunset and Hollywood Blvd. Fingers crossed, I’d become an office manager and be able to ditch my job folding clothes at the mall.
As I sat in the lobby of the sparkly new building, I had no idea that my life was about to change forever.
3–2–1
The elevator doors opened.
He strode into the lobby sporting the biggest smile I’d ever seen. Energy shot through me. The city was filled with angels. He said hello to the woman mopping the floor and hello to me and then disappeared out the glass doors.
Who was that? It was love at first sight.
Luckily, I got the job, and thankfully, it came with an apartment. Knowing my boss helped, a protective Vietnam veteran who thought of me as his nineteen-year-old daughter. He understood the dangers of life in a city and watched out for me knowing I had trouble seeing beyond the stars in my eyes.
Yep, I was one of those small-town to Hollywood hopefuls. Moving into my new apartment was easy. All I had was a suitcase and a dream. My boss or pseudo-dad bought donuts for everyone each morning while I organized the office.
Sure, there were rents to collect and apartments to show, but I had some serious detective work to do. Who was the hot, long-haired blond with the gleaming smile?
Keeping the office door open meant I could scan the lobby for Mr. Dreamy. It didn’t take long before he appeared in a leather jacket with a bass guitar strapped to his back. A musician! When he climbed on his motorcycle, my excitement grew.
“I think his name is Eric something.” My pseudo-dad smirked, knowing why I’d asked. I sprinted to the elevator, where gold plates listed the names of every tenant.
Eric Rausin
In my mind, I said the words Krista Rausin. It sounded a little like raisin. I could live with it. With more research, I discovered Eric worked as a waiter at Sizzler.
Suddenly I had a craving for something other than steak. I drove to the closest Sizzler with a hopeful heart. I was not incognito when I sat in his section alone like the stalker I was.
“I’ll be right with you.”
My heart leaped.
Cheeks flushed, I nodded.
Two young women at the table next to me discussed whether or not they thought their waiter was cute. I restrained myself from telling them he was taken. Eric returned, balancing a tray full of food for a family of four.
My lustful eyes watched closely.
As he went to place a bowl of soup on the table, the tray tipped, and the soup splattered all over the man’s lap. Eric apologized profusely and then ran to get more napkins. Secretly I hoped that maybe my presence made him nervous.
Patience not being one of my strengths at nineteen, I followed what high school girls in my small town did when they liked a guy. They enlisted a friend for help.
I asked a coworker to nudge Eric in the right direction — toward me. It worked! He said he’d ask me on a date. I waited for the big day. Two weeks snailed by.
Sitting at my desk, I heard the elevator doors and spotted him. My stomach did somersaults.
Here he comes!
He walked out the lobby door. I sighed.
There he goes.
An hour later, he reappeared and strode directly into my office, holding a berry peach smoothie. His liquid courage. Synapses were firing. Eric sat down.
“Would you like to go out to dinner and a movie?”
Yes, yes, one hundred percent yes!
“Yes.” My red cheeks said the rest.
Two Years Later
I returned, scooped up the pieces of my heart, and held them in my hand.
He doesn’t love me enough. Leave him.
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, I love you. I’m committed to you. I just don’t believe in marriage.”
What I wanted, what he wanted, the discussion never ended well. What we both wanted was to be together. So, we did that day by day by day. After seven years, we married. Our daughter attended our wedding.
Thirty-four years later, his smile still lights up my life.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
Does dating ever feel challenging, awkward or frustrating?
Turn Your Dating Life into a WOW! with our new classes and live coaching.
Click here for more info or to buy with special launch pricing!
***
—–
Photo courtesy of author. Used with permission.
