Age-Old Advice to Double Your Dates with Women and Make More Friends

I tested different dating advice for more six-five years (read about it here). Trust me, what you think will work usually doesn’t. Most advice sucks. But there are a few golden nuggets which will work for a lifetime

If you do apply them right.

“Good to see you!”

I didn’t like myself.

I was depressed and anxious and stressed. I remember times when I wanted to throw up just from being depressed for so long. Usually, I walked with my head down. I was unconfident at work. Studdered with the ladies.

Women felt it. Colleagues felt it. My boss once told me, “Jonathan, try to be confident when you talk to clients”.

Lol.

People feel your energy, whether they’re conscious of it or not. And I think for most people, it’s impossible to be around someone negative. Even if that negative person doesn’t try to put anyone down on purpose.

Be the guy people feel good about, not just women

The old “good to see you” acknowledgement still applies. Some people bring a positive vibe with them, and the room shifts its energy.
There’s something about them which makes you feel good.

And that’s rare.

Are you giving or taking?

One of my friends has always struggled with women.

Whenever he approaches them, if at all, they can feel his low vibes. On the energy level, he was taking- not giving.

One of the best pieces of advice I got for dealing with women was, “Get busy with giving good feelings and validation”. It works amazingly well.

Here’s the thing, though:

You can’t make others feel good about themselves if you don’t feel good about yourself

You have to be your own positive source of energy. You have to rely on the positive emotions you feel inside yourself. When you barely feel anything positive, it’s almost like you got nothing to give.

You can be rich with a perfect body. Drive the coolest car. It won’t help if you don’t feel good about yourself as a person.

Secrets for self-love

I believe self-love is the source of many good things in life.

Emotional health. Physical health. Charisma and confidence. Appearance. Self-love energizes you. It transcends your energy.

You start loving yourself through the little things. Like taking a nice shower in the morning or grooming your beard. Like wearing fresh clothes you like and putting on cologne. A good haircut.

Then your self-love starts to grow. Whatever you don’t like about yourself, put it aside for a while.

Last year I got dark circles around my eyes, and I hated it. Every time I looked in the mirror, that was the first thing I saw. After some time, I got sick of it and decided to focus on what I liked.

I thought, “You like your eyes, don’t you? Focus on that”.

It slowly drew my attention from the hated dark circles to something I liked.

Then I added my beard. “Isn’t your beard nice? Most men wish they could grow a beard”.

A few weeks in, I forgot about the dark circles. The resistance in me vanished. I now allow myself to like more things about who I am and let self-love grow.

How to kill a vampire

Some people suck the energy out of you. One of my best friends has been trying to do that for the past six months.

I don’t think he’s aware of it. I believe deep down, he knows his life sucks. Even if he gets ass left and right.

Last Friday, I told him, “Listen man, this shit gotta stop. Even if I don’t feel great sometimes, you come and suck more energy out of me”.

It should have been said. I was doing him a favour. I gave him a chance to take a look at himself and stop his stupid bullshit.

I didn’t cut him off. Just let him know I’m done with his shit. He can do whatever he likes. Start by de-prioritizing people who take more than they give. It isn’t worth it.

Conclusion

People feel about you what you feel towards yourself. They pick up on the slightest negative feelings you have. You can’t get women without some self-love. No dating technique in the world can fix that.

You can’t meet new quality friends if you feel bad about yourself. Focus on your emotional growth. You’ll be amazed at how your life will change.

Get my free ebook “Life Lessons From Getting Rejected by Hundreds Of Women”

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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