(CNN)Warning: This article contains language some may consider offensive.CNN is warning you off the word ‘dick’. Not the reprehensible misunderstanding of the word ‘consent’ or the toxic arrogance of a serial abuser whose been godded up for his ‘brave vulnerability’, which apparently was toxic.
“I want to address the stories told to the New York Times by five women named Abby, Rebecca, Dana, Julia who felt able to name themselves and one who did not.
You are giving off a creepy vibe already, dude. Yours is the name we’re thinking about. You could have stopped after ‘..Times’. Sketchy, but proceed.
These stories are true. Honesty is a baseline, but compared to others you get a tiny bit of credit for this. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was okay because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first I take it all back! Credit gone. What? You thought the question itself was a shield? I’m confused and scared., which is also true. Let’s not get snippy. You are merely copping to asking coworkers if you could show them your dick. The fact that you get all ‘which is also true’ about it is not a good sign. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. Read that last sentence out loud. How does it make you feel. Is that a ‘life lesson’? Is it? Also, you should really use an editor. It’s a predicament for them. Naked Louis masturating at them is more than a predicament’ you predatory monster.The power I had over these women is that they admired me. Just stop. Were you wearing pants when you wrote that last sentence. And I wielded that power irresponsibly. Stop. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
I have been remorseful of my actions. Phew. So you’ve found these women, used your industry wide respect and power to make them whole financially and professionally after promising careers that were thwarted by your craven compulsion to use that power to pleasure yourself in front of them. Thank goodness there’s a happy ending. I was starting to get worried. And I’ve tried to learn from them. Admiring and touching your pee pee is natural. We’re all curious. But you can’t do it in the living room. You have to go in the bathroom or to your room. Any parent who has raised boys knows this lesson can take some reminding. And run from them. WHAT!?!? Now I’m aware of the extent of the impact of my actions. I learned yesterday the extent to which I left these women who admired me feeling badly about themselves and cautious around other men who would never have put them in that position. They feel bad about themselves? Are you fucking kidding me!
I also took advantage of the fact that I was widely admired in my and their community, which disabled them from sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they tried because people who look up to me didn’t want to hear it. This reads an awful lot like, ‘excuse me officer, but do you know who I am?’, said while trying to get out of a public urination ticket. I didn’t think that I was doing any of that because my position allowed me not to think about it. Are you trying to play the back door ‘woke’ card? Get the fuck out of here. I mean, it’s SO brazen I almost feel a certain admiration under all the nausea. You have serious deity issues my man.
There is nothing about this that I forgive myself for.Was this a question? Are we already talking about forgiveness? And I have to reconcile it with who I am. Start by knocking on the doors of your neighbors and telling them you are a sexual predator. It’ll help you bridge this gap between your perception and the reality. Which is nothing compared to the task I left them with.
I wish I had reacted to their admiration of me Put your pants on. by being a good example to them as a man and given them some guidance as a comedian, including because I admired their work.There’s a lot to unpack here, but trust me, as a man who self published without getting an editor, go get an editor.
The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. Let’s remember, this is about how hard it is for you. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them. I’d be remiss to exclude the hurt that I’ve brought on people who I work with and have worked with who’s [sic] professional and personal lives have been impacted by all of this, including projects currently in production: the cast and crew of ‘Better Things,’ ‘Baskets,’ ‘The Cops,’ ‘One Mississippi,’ and ‘I Love You Daddy.’ Strike that last sentence. Comes off as self promoting as it’s literally reading off all the projects that will be studied by historians that never hit the market because of your intense creepiness. I deeply regret that this has brought negative attention to my manager Dave Becky who only tried to mediate a situation that I caused. By simply intimidating less powerful people so you could continue to ask strangers if it was alright for you to take your penis out. I’ve brought anguish and hardship to the people at FX who have given me so much The Orchard who took a chance on my movie and every other entity that has bet on me through the years.
I’ve brought pain to my family, my friends, my children you suck, Louis and their mother. I have spent my long and lucky career talking and saying anything I want. I will now step back and take a long time to listen. At least it was only these five. Thank goodness. I mean, NYT is the paper of record after all. Im sure they are the only ones deserving an apology.
Thank you for reading.” Don’t talk to me.
Previously published on developingdad.com
Photo provided by the author.