Another Promising First Date?

“I’m excited to see you tonight, it’s been way too long.”

…

The difference between this date and others is that we have a history. Not a long one, but one that makes it easier for us to get to know each other. I had the biggest crush on him when I was 14 and he was 17. I had math with his younger brother the last period of the day and he would sit outside of our class and wait to take him home.

I had braces, glasses, a huge backpack and carried my band instrument with me and we would make eye contact every once in a while but never said anything. He graduated that year and it didn’t phase me at all.

5 years later

I’m now 19 and doing my first curated art show and even though I’m nervous and excited I’m a new artist and my mind is not at all on boys/ men or anyone but the portraits in my gallery.

He walks past me, I still have glasses but the braces are gone and my hair isn’t as long and it’s styled. I have on the cutest LBD and pea-coat and we make eye contact.

Don’t I know you?

He did. We exchanged numbers and talked for the next few weeks. We had both moved from our small hometown to the metro city a few hours north to go to competing colleges and although the texting goes on for a while, we never had the opportunity to actually get together. I eventually got a boyfriend that would last the next decade and he disappeared.

10 more years goes by

and we matched on an app but only to let each other know that we wanted to stop by and say hi.

Funny seeing you here.

It was funny since this is how we keep running into each other. I guess I couldn’t resist. He looked the same, but 15 years older. Had the same coy boyish smile and I was still just as attracted to him as I was when I was 14.

Our Sheepish hello turned into an actual first date with both of us expressing how we don’t want to waste time this time and our first date was at a guilty pleasure chain restaurant neither of us would admit we loved but both of us loved nonetheless.

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

So how did the date go?

We sat in a booth in the back of the restaurant, and talked over spaghetti and red wine from 7pm to midnight. Before we knew it we were the last ones left and although they were closed, they didn’t kick us out.

We talked about friends, mutual friends, family, music. Everything and anything we could think of. All in all the date went well, but it didn’t end how I would have liked. I guess my expectations were higher than they should have been. Remember the zero expectation phase I went through about 12 dates ago? I didn’t go with many expectations, but I did have a few.

We had great conversation and were equally attracted to each other — so what was the problem?

He’s boring.

He’s a picky eater, doesn’t like to try new things, isn’t really someone who likes to go out at all and more importantly, is 32 and still has secrets from his parents as if he’s 15.

Is this promising? If I have to hide my lifestyle from his family, no, it won’t work. But he did text me this morning, the day after with well wishes and a “hope to see you again.”

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***