Within great destruction, a chance for renewal is possible as long as it is properly fostered.
________
Archetypes are recurrent symbols that offer spiritual advice to men and women as we travel the journey of life. This is the fourth in a 12-part series, in which this ancient wisdom is made relevant both to ecumenical (book) religions and to the non-spiritual as well through real life examples and everyday application.
While I highly encourage a spiritual path, as it feeds the soul, this wisdom will resonate regardless because it is within our bones and sinew as men. Twelve is a very significant number in spiritual circles. There are 12 months, 12 signs of the Zodiac, Jesus had 12 disciples, 12 indicates a complete cycle.
As we complete our cycle through the archetypes, we will experience the ancient wisdom offered to us around manhood. Whether you are gay, straight, bi, curious, confused, trans, married, unattached, looking, or fearful, this wisdom has the power to meet you where you are and help you experience the slice of divine that is you, as a man.
◊♦◊
The Destroyer Speaks
Behold, I tear down and apart. Fear me as a brother, but also, be not afraid, for within destruction all things are made new.
What can we experience from this archetype? Embodying the Destroyer can help men understand the ebb and flow of the constant change of life. We can learn to work in harmony with change and destruction. Within great destruction, a chance for renewal is possible as long as it is properly fostered.
There are those who will read this and find themselves in need of stability while others will look for ways to be more in harmony with change. But as the old saying goes, “the only thing constant in this life is change.” Change is basically the cycle of creation and destruction that informs us all and is a unique part of the masculine experience. This archetype has two distinct components: getting in harmony change while also realizing your own potential for destruction. I’m going to talk about those components in terms of actions, words, and your sexuality.
Getting in Harmony with Change
The principle of entropy is something that plagues us all. From Elon Musk trying to change the way we use and store energy to our lack of physical and mental energy at the end of the day, entropy is all around us. All objects wear out and fall apart. The slowing of this process, or rather, the inability to preserve things as they are without them falling apart (at least for a very long time) is something that plagues mankind.
Everything wears out, including us. We struggle constantly to preserve things as they are right now. Entropy is an all-encompassing force that affects every bit of matter on this planet. Rather than trying to push against this unstoppable force, this archetype invites us to get in harmony with the physical principle of entropy.
Within the sacred masculine, there is the primal desire to destroy; to have the satisfying power to undo one thing so that another may rise in its place.
|
Men are very good at destroying things. Better, I think, than we are at creating them. I’ve observed men who have a unique ability to look at something and feel a primal need to see it torn apart. Anyone who has had a three year-old male child will understand this at an intimate level. As men, if something is up, it must come down. If it’s put together, it needs to be torn apart.
Within the sacred masculine, there is the primal desire to destroy; to have the satisfying power to undo one thing so that another may rise in its place. Nowhere was this more obvious than my observations of young men and their intrinsic desire to see something destroyed purely for the sake of destruction. I asked them about the love and joy of creation and they said, “That comes later” or “It doesn’t matter.”
Somewhere, within all men, is the desire and physical ability to cause great destruction. Men are agents of change. This principle underlies the “male threat.” Historically, goddess cultures tended to be hunter-gatherer or early agrarian and tended to be far smaller, more community based, and less expansionist than cultures who tended to worship male gods. Early large civilizations worshipped male gods. Male god mythology is filled with disruption, destruction, and entropy. This archetype asks us to meditate upon our own personal ability to cause destruction. For some men, this can be something that needs to be curtailed, and for others it is something to harness for its positive aspects.
While seemingly counterintuitive, destruction is an intensely creative process. At some point a man can be so creative, so filled with the desire to create, that his creative force is inherently destructive. To destroy is to create and destruction can be creative within the right context.
Think about disruptive technology. More than one candle and lamp maker was put out of business by the light bulb. Think about the many people that were unemployed by the advancement of the automobile. This is happening now as we speak. New technologies that have been created and causing disruption all around us. The principle of entropy in this case grows out of creativity.
At a more personal and less conceptual level, we see this process created in personal renewal. When we spend time on ourselves, we have to destroy the old in order to create the new. Within your relationships, different habits, patterns, and ways of being wear out and something new must be created. Often, someone within a relationship creating something new for himself causes a shift in the relationship as a whole. As your children grow, your relationship gets destroyed and rebuilt many times over. Your relationship with your children is different each year that passes. As they gain more experience and freedom, the old relationship decays and dies off in favor of a new relationship that grows. Once children reach adulthood the entire parent/child dynamic loses its use in favor of the friendliness of adulthood.
Realizing Your Own Potential For Destruction
In our society, there are expectations, constructs, and other boundaries that we are expected to observe. To rebel against those can be a creative act.
|
The Destroyer is a soul experience of rebellion. At its heart, the Destroyer is about the dichotomy of destruction and creation, but within that dichotomy is something men are uniquely equipped to do—rebel. We all have the stereotype of the rebellious teenage male who talks back to his parents, disrespects them, and seems to be uncontrollable. Understanding this rebellious behavior might be of help.
In our society, there are expectations, constructs, and other boundaries that we are expected to observe. To rebel against those can be a creative act. In politics it can bring about great change. By going on freedom rides and performing lunch room sit-ins, Civil Rights advocates were able to launch a national conversation on race and race relations that we continue to have in this country. When Harvey Milk was unhappy with how gay people were being treated, he took rebellious steps that caused entropy of the old system so that true equality for all sexualities could burst forth.
Within your career, a healthy rebellion may lead to new innovation or time-saving policies. Avoiding group think for original ideas can be very rebellious in certain situations and can yield great results. The Destroyer asks not why some thing (idea/institution/boundary) is there but rather analyzes it to see how fast it can be taken down and how many barriers (emotional, psychological, or physical) need to be overcome in order to get there. This process can be very positive.
Destroying the barriers that keep you from being fully intimate with your partner is a good kind of destruction. Finding the barriers to your success in career is positive for on the other side of that is the ability to break through to greater heights than you have known before. However, as in all things, there is the negative side of destruction and rebellion. The sooner you understand how your actions affect other people the sooner you can control your own actions to not negatively affect others.
Careful with your words. It is no secret that words are one of the most destructive forces on the planet. The empowerment of language is like none other because it allows us to communicate our feelings, thoughts, and desires. But words also can tear at us like thorns, destroying our self-worth, self-esteem, and personality.
You may have very negative experiences of what other people say. Believe me, in my business as a public person, one of the rules is, “Don’t read the comments.” What people are willing to fling at someone online is unreal. However, that is an easy thing to vilify. Where the rubber meets the road is within your own relationships. When you speak, do your uplift or do you destroy? Do you use the power of discretion and choose your words carefully?
When you use your words you should be able to create a sense of good feeling with others, especially your children (if you have any) and with your partner. Words can quickly destroy a relationship. This archetype reminds us that while things are always changing, and that “what goes up, must come down”, we should harmonize and not force those changes in our lives with negative words and actions. This is an area where your daily spiritual practice of prayer or meditation can be helpful. You can analyze your words, begin to look back on what you have said, and make decisions on whether it was destructive or not to you or to others. From this, you can begin making small, daily changes in your language use.
At the intersection of entropy and sexuality is your own choices about how you conduct yourself.
|
Sex: The ultimate creative destruction. Do you know that your sex can create children but also can destroy your relationship? The manly bits between your legs are sacred. They are powerful, and within that is the power both to create and to destroy. The lesson of the destroyer is to be mindful around the creative and destructive abilities of your sexuality. Unless you are in a non-monogamous relationship, deciding to rebel against the agreement of your relationship for a few minutes of pleasure is using your intrinsic ability as a man to destroy in it’s most negative way. It may sound cliché to think of “your partner” or “your children”, but there is wisdom within this cliché. Too many stories abound where men cheat on their partners as if was as second nature as the sunset or the exchanging of air. However, the way in which we use our bodies and sexuality can be extremely productive in bringing us closer to our partner or destroying our relationships and families.
When you bring the sex act into the sacred realm, not necessarily in a tantric way or something akin to meditation with a side of carnal pleasure, you bring a fresh attitude to your sexuality. It’s not longer just about your pleasure, it’s about how are in the world. Sex and sexuality can create children—be the foundational component of a relationship—or it can destroy all of those things in a single moment of passing pleasure. How you choose to use your power of creative destruction is what the spiritual component of this archetype and your sexuality is all about. At the intersection of entropy and sexuality is your own choices about how you conduct yourself. Sex and sexuality is always positive unless it harms someone else. Natural entropy harms nothing. Forced entropy can cause great harm to many people. Is the destruction caused by infidelity worth it? The Destroyer asks us this question.
◊♦◊
The Destroyer is one of the more difficult archetypes because we often view destruction, creative or otherwise, as deeply troubling or something to avoid. It is easy to reject such an archetype as not true for you, but when that thought arises, remind yourself that all archetypes reside within all men. The key is to find the experience within the archetype for you.
The Destroyer is constantly confronting us with the hard choices about using natural entropy, rebellion, and creative destruction in our lives. Our job as men is find balance and right action within this space. This balance is a constant companion in our lives and I guarantee that the decision will be available constantly.
________
Image credit: gagilas/flickr
You misuse it’s. That should only be used to replace it is, not show possessive
“Men are very good at destroying things. Better, I think, than we are at creating them. I’ve observed men who have a unique ability to look at something and feel a primal need to see it torn apart. Anyone who has had a three year-old male child will understand this at an intimate level. As men, if something is up, it must come down. If it’s put together, it needs to be torn apart” So, remember men of the Good Men Project, we are all 3 year olds. Wow so nice. Then again all thru history men have never created… Read more »
Yes, good points. But I think the Hindu’s had it down in a more complete way. Kali was of 2 faces, both the destroyer and creator. Let’s think of ourselves that way .. yes, I destroy lots of shit, but I also work in the creationist mode – within my capabilities – too.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Greg