Are You Afraid of Change?

CONTRARY BELIEFS

“I held a discussion with the woman I love the other evening. I realized the type of romantic partner I am today is completely different from the one from ten years ago. I am different than when we first met. The true testament was realizing I evolved to be even more different than six months ago. In truth, the only remnants I’ve carried forward are my desires to protect, care take and express myself artistically. Everything else is gone.”

THE WORLD IS IN CONSTANT CHANGE

Name one thing on the planet that remains the same. You should be stumped. There is nothing on this planet which does not constantly change. Each present is a moment dying into the past to make room for the next present moment.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock

All different moments. Many insist upon holding on to past things. The reality is everything is destined to slip away from our grasp. All hands held will release. All kisses will detach. All loving words will cease their sounds.

So, those who refuse to accept insist the present repeat itself. Present does not repeat. Life will not repeat itself nor is the famous saying “History repeats itself” completely accurate. The present unfolds similar to history but historically speaking the past is dead. The present is now. The future is imagined and not certain.

TWO DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES

The world can be separated into two distinctly different perspectives. They are not complex. They are not complicated. Despite this truth, this classification is not overly simplified. This view has support of scientific research. There’s a list of evidence but let’s limit it to your personal experience. I’m sure you will find ample support there too. You’ve just denied it for a while.

Ready?

Perspective One — What is Out of Your Control

Despite whatever people call things today (manifesting, envisioning, et cetera) in truth there is much we cannot control. We cannot control the weather. The number of cars on the road before you go to work is another uncontrollable factor. The stock market will never be predicted. Let’s take it smaller. Something as small as exactly when you want to use the restroom is not possible to control.

How about that?

Something as simple as your own bowl movements are out of your control.

Perspective Two — What is Within Your Control

In truth, all we really retain is conscious. Our awareness of self. The truth I am here, and You are there. Another thing we retain is the right to respond to the uncontrollable. We can choose our emotions, our feelings and our forms of expressions.

I can be kind if you are mean.

I can choose to be happy after receiving devastating news.

I can look forward to the things I still have after something valuable is taken from me.

All of these responses originate from me — no one or nothing else. My state of consciousness. These same responses exist within you — the reader.

PRACTICING ACCEPTANCE

The biggest change for me was accepting these two perspectives. I assumed my effort would always yield exceptional results. As an International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe; I thought effort drove results.

I was a distinguished military graduate, valedictorian, state football championship winner and appointed noble for a non-state sovereign entity charity. I even have a film inspired by my life (different than factually based on my life) in post-production now with an award winning film producer Juan C Vazquez. These exceptional results reinforced my assumption personal efforts could change things.

Than reality hit. All my perceived effort could not change something as simple as how a woman felt about me. I nearly divorced.

To salvage this particular love, it came down to accepting my efforts to change her views would not work — it needed to be my acceptance to change my internal responses which would make love bloom again.

I accepted her for whom she was not what I assumed she could be if she changed due to my efforts. I changed. Ironically, she did change. What changed in her? It was her response to my new responses.

What Practicing Acceptance Does:

· It lowers stress significantly. When you realize you cannot control other people a certain lightness comes to you. You don’t try because it doesn’t matter. What people do is their problem, their burden and they live with their responses — not you.

· It changes how you perceive negative situations. Instead of crisis, injustice or complaining your perspective will shift. Nothing happens in this universe without purpose. You can assign your crisis or injustice a purpose. Its purpose is to permit virtue development and testament of character.

· It creates remarkable resilience. Enduring false accusations, unfair treatment, and unjust punishments serve as living proof you are what you claim to be. As more negative responses are dulled out and your responses are one of: grace, humility, kindness and love — your accusers elevate you to a plateau instead of tearing you down. In their pursuit of destruction, they build you an unshakable foundation which prevents destruction. It is true irony.

Three Ways To Reinforce Acceptance (Use Them)

1. Ask Yourself How Long Will It Last. Assess the value of a behavior by putting into perspective how long a punishment, unfair treatment or imprisonment will last. If you have lived like me (nearly 40 years) you will recall it feels like just yesterday when you were a child. Where did time go? In truth, even 10 years pass like a single day. One day you go to sleep, wake up but it’s not tomorrow — it’s 5 years later. Typically, things are over faster than you make them seem. This is especially true when your negative situation is only one argument, one sentence or one action. Don’t let the past live in the present. There’s no value in that.

2. Use Cause & Effect Logic. Always try and use your rationale mind. See if the effects of your choice are positive. If you choose to forgive you can conclude it demonstrates temperance, a coveted virtue in romantic relationships. If you choose kindness to those who mistreat you it will demonstrate the nearly nonexistent virtue of selflessness. If you stand upright after being punched in the stomach it shows a coveted character trait — defiance without violence.

3. Ask Yourself The Question. An easy way to stop an emotional rollercoaster is to self-centeredly ask yourself, “What do I want from this exchange?”. Your mind will find an answer quickly. Than ask, “Is what I’m feeling going to get me what I want?”. If it is no, than change your mood to get what you want. It’s an incredibly powerful tool which gets you out of a negative space quickly if the negative space is not giving you what you want. We all want what we want. It requires little willpower to choose a feeling which gets you what you want. Try it.

The Value of This Philosophy

· Positive Self-Help Interventions can be helpful to reduce depressive symptoms. (2)

· Emotional Reappraisal changes the way one thinks about feelings and as a result it can contribute positively to one’s emotional intelligence. (3)

· This turns a common impediment into a powerful tool. Humans are notoriously self-centered. This takes the human fallacy of thinking selfishly and repurposes it into a positive tool which grounds you back to stability. The obstacle becomes the way. (4)

IN CLOSING

I do not wish my personal circumstances on anyone. It is for this reason that now I am the ultimate authority on what not to do. My much-anticipated new book “Turning Indictments To Dollars” talks about how to avoid the pitfalls I suffered. If you are accused of something you know you didn’t do — this book will offer you the path which grants you success. Trust me you will want to Sign up for free during the pre-release period to take advantage of unique $0.99 pricing on launch.

Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit”. You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight.

The concept I teach in this article is free. Some of my personal stories are not free of charge as everything costs something. The techniques I discuss in this article I use. The purpose of reading this is to teach people how to accept unjust and undeserved treatment as an empowering tool in lieu of unfair punishment.

If you are experiencing change in a relationship, it’s critical you read this. Life is full of change and the tools discussed in this article will help you shift your perspective. It is time tested and proven to de-stress, develop virtue and arrive at your wants faster. Let me know in the comments if this article was helpful and how you applied these techniques.

To Your Knowledge Success!

Sources

1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.

2) Bolier L, Haverman M, Westerhof GJ, Riper H, Smit F, Bohlmeijer E. Positive psychology interventions: a meta-analysis of randomized controlled studies. BMC Public Health. 2013 Feb 8;13:119. doi: 10.1186/1471–2458–13–119. PMID: 23390882; PMCID: PMC3599475.

3) Mayer JD, Salovey P, & Caruso DR, 2004. Emotional intelligence: Theory, findings, and implications. Psychological Inquiry 15, 197–215.

4) Marcus Aurelius. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. The New Translation By Del Ray Kochon. Decameron Books. ISBN 978–1–936767–79–3

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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments. Certain elements of this narrative may have been fictionalized to convey message points. This is a work of artistic expression not a narrative of fact. Strictly for entertainment and informational purposes only.

About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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