Authentic Swag, Not Hyperbole

Image shows a man from the waist up, dimly lit against a black background. He is wearing a white, loose-fitting shirt. He has thick, dark hair both on his head and his beard and mustache. His eyes are closed, his head slightly lowered, and his hands and pressed together as if praying or showing respect for a martial arts opponent.

Over 20 years ago, my friend Marc discovered that I was a 3rd-degree black belt in Aikido at the time. He asked, “So, you could really kick my ass?” I smiled. That was perhaps the stupidest question, anyone had asked me. That still holds the record. Just saying.

I said, “That’s not the point. I train so that I don’t have to fight.” I sourced the late Mizukami Sensei’s humility. Sensei would have been proud of my answer. He would have laughed out loud, too. Again, just saying.

I had nothing, but mad love and respect for Marc. He was a good man. Marc was 5’10”, athletic, and a yoga practitioner for many years. I’m 5’ 3”. At that time, I had trained in Aikido for over 10 years. Aikido is budo, traditional Japanese martial art. Yoga is not. Both disciplines offer distinctive transformational paths.

In the very unlikely possibility that Marc would attack me, I wait it out. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I enter the attack. I enter the danger. I match his attack in my attack. I let the attack pass me or end the attack. It’s one time. No sparring. I could win or lose. He could win or lose. What happens, happens. There’s no answer to Marc’s explicit question. Rather, I really don’t know. Although, I have some idea. Just saying.

In Aikido, I just train not to fight. There is no external opponent. It’s only me against me. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I overcome me, not others.

I’ve trained in Aikido for over half my life. I’m Godan (5th-degree black belt). I just train. It’s not like I have to get somewhere or prove anything. In the bigger picture, I train so that I don’t have to fight. I’m not the Baddest Man. My baddest opponent on Planet Earth shall always be me.

In Aikido, I wait out the attack. I apply the technique to myself, not to the attacker. The attacker and the attack are irrelevant. I match up the attack in my attack. I take a glancing blow, if I have to. I’m not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time. I let the attack pass or end the attack. The attacker takes the fall or stands down. Both sides choose.

The attacker is bigger, stronger, and faster than me. Still, I wait it out. I enter the attack and die with honor. I get under the attack, get under what I fear. That’s the safest place to be. I choose who I am and what I do. I’m as authentic as I can be. I reinvent me. That’s my swag.

NFL GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) Quarterback Tom Brady said, “I would say that 90% of the things I say is not what I’m thinking, which is challenging. I try to play it super flat… I try to think a lot before I speak.” Tom is humble. He’s the GOAT.

When Tom faces the defensive secondary with a lesser-skilled cornerback, he’ll say, “We’re going to have to do our best against their solid secondary.” In the game, Tom will consistently target passes to his wide receiver in one-on-one coverage with that cornerback. That’s Tom’s swag.

In the bigger picture, swag is not hyperbole, not chest pounding, “I’m gonna kick your ass!” That’s just being an asshole. When the 250-pound man comes to punch, I wait it out. I enter the attack and die with honor. I enter what I fear. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I match his attack with my attack. I don’t look at him. He’s irrelevant. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, whether that’s iriminage (clothesline technique to the head) or kotegaeshi (wrist lock).

It’s only me against me. I work on myself, not on the attacker. I choose who I am and what I do. Every time I enter what I fear, I let go more of the fear inside that I’m not good enough. I’m free to be me. That’s my swag. Just saying.