Avoid These 7 Types of Difficult People for a Happier Life

Imagine meeting the love of your life but not knowing it. They cannot reach you because toxic and harmful people are taking up your time and energy. Like a barrier, they keep those who would value and respect you at bay.

Sometimes we can’t ignore difficult people. But there are many circumstances where they can be avoided once you know what to look out for. By keeping toxic people at bay, you become accessible.

I spent years as a police officer and am a trained counselor and former Samaritan. I’ve talked to hundreds of the sad, mad, and just plain bad. People-watching is what I do.

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1. Sometimes talking isn’t a good idea.

Talking about feelings is usually a good thing. When people are in severe mental anguish, they should be encouraged to express themselves. Men, especially, are notoriously bad at opening up, and this keeps the suicide rate high.

However, talking about feelings has a limit. Enter the constant victim.

This type of person goes out of their way to talk about their sob stories. They wear them like a beacon of pride, and you’ll barely get past “hello” before they start talking about their latest crisis.

You’re at risk from the constant victim if you display empathy. They can sniff it a mile away.

Someone in genuine torment seeks support from a few trusted people. The constant victim seeks support from the postman, the local shop owner, and whoever has the misfortune of crossing their path on the street.

A genuine person resists letting their pain define them.

The constant victim will never return the favor when you need their help. The best way to make them disappear is to have problems of your own.

This type of person populates the “entry-level” of mental illness. Schizophrenia is hard to fake, and no one wants it, but having anxiety or depression is a status badge for the constant victim. Prescriptions for potent antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are sky-high, and I bet if you talked to a handful of young adults, you’d find at least one with these ailments.

Sadness is to depression what a puddle is to an ocean.

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2. This is what makes a bully.

The more a person performs, the more they are masking insecurity. The overly confident person will manipulate and belittle people so they can step on them to make themselves feel better. In other words, they’re your average bully.

On the surface, many bullies have confidence, money, and strength. But underneath it all, they are just little kids masquerading as adults.

If you had absolute confidence, you’d be humble. Wealthy people often live so frugally that you’d never know their bank balance. Compare this to the posers on social media with their hired sports cars.

If someone tries too hard to make a show, it’s a charade that’ll come crashing down like a sugar pedestal in the rain.

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3. This is what happens when you trash-talk someone.

A true friend praises you even when you aren’t around, and there’s nothing to gain. It shows they are secure and positive. Those who trash-talk others are the exact opposite.

Of course, we all have negative opinions about someone. But sharing them makes you look toxic and petty. If someone is gossiping to you about someone else, don’t think they aren’t doing it about you when your back’s turned.

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4. Don’t fall for flattery.

Anytime you meet a new person, and they start coming out with phrases like “you’re so amazing” or “I just know we’ll be together forever,” it’s a major warning sign.

While these expressions of affection are great for your ego, they’re dangerous if they come from someone you just met. Such powerful sentiments take time to become genuine.

People who throw these powerful words around so trivially are hoping you’ll be insecure enough to fall for flattery. Don’t become their fool. Know your worth.

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5. Anything for an easy life.

These are people who always take the easiest path in life. They built the comfort zone.

Shortcut takers are impulsive, lack discipline, and seek instant gratification. You can’t trust them to do what they say in relationships or at work.

They are always looking for the next scam to get rich. They’ve tried every side hustle known to man and want an easy life without any effort.

Relationships with shortcut enthusiasts will crumble when things become even slightly difficult.

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6. Beware the charmer.

Some charming people can be trusted, but they should still be treated with initial skepticism. They have the power to draw you into their world, so you should at least consider whether that’s where you want to be.

Take time to look for proof of honesty and make sure they back up what they say.

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7. Watch how someone treats service staff.

I’m not saying everyone should walk around weeping at the world’s unfairness. But if someone lacks empathy, you might be unable to trust them. If they have no empathy, they have no conscience.

How does this person treat animals? How does he react to people on a different social level, such as service staff in restaurants? Are they kind when they don’t have to be?

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Expect more from your relationships.

This guide will save you time and help you identify the kind of people you need to detach from. Only you can decide if you have toxic family members or friends. Do you still want them in your life?

It’s your call to make. But if too many toxic people surround you, you’ll never get the relationships you deserve.

Demand better.

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This post was previously published on Change Your Mind Change Your Life.

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