Several years ago I went through a divorce. My usually mild-mannered son was angry. He didn’t understand what was happening. In addition to that, as much as I love and respect teachers, he was in a classroom with one of the worst teacher’s I’d ever met. To top it all off, there was a kid who picked on him regularly as if it was his daily hobby. All of this took a toll on my son who was seven years old at the time. He began acting out in school and the teacher, who at the time treated the kids like they were in a military camp made it her personal mission to make my son behave, sit up straight all day with his feet neatly together and not blink an eye. No seven-year-old kid could have made it through those conditions without some type of negative behavior. As I tried to talk to the school about this issue my son was having at home and also discuss the kid picking on him his teacher became even tougher on him until one day he knocked a kid into the wall as he stormed down the hallway. This was extremely opposite my son’s normal behavior and I was very concerned. A meeting was set up with me, the headmaster and the teacher to resolve the issues.
Once in this meeting with the teacher, her body language told a story no parent wanted to hear. She gave me dirty looks, rolled her eyes and even scowled. It was so obvious the headmaster asked to speak with her privately for a moment. Anyone who knows me will tell you I don’t flip out on teachers but as my oldest sons says I do know how to be a professional as*hole and make you so frustrated with what I’m saying you want to scream. I can do it in a way that I won’t curse at you or raise my voice but I will certainly make you question your ability to remain calm. It’s become an art form when I’m faced with a conflict that involves people who are loose cannons. that don’t know how to treat others with respect. They kind of end up self-combusting which proves the point they are a loose cannon. Once the teacher and the headmaster came back into the room it didn’t get much better. I finally asked that my child be placed into another classroom as her style was not going to work and it seems the bully was also acting out while ONLY in her classroom (coincidence). The teacher instantly got offended because I didn’t want my child in her classroom any longer even though a good deal of the school year had already passed. Despite her issues, it was determined that my son would be moved within the week. Oddly enough, within the first two days, my son became his normal self and didn’t have any other issues the remainder of the school year.
After my son had entered the other teacher’s room she spoke with me a few weeks later. She told me she was surprised about my son considering all the notes the other teacher had put in his file. To summarize, the comments inferred my son was an angry black male. I immediately took this up with the headmaster and demanded all of her negative comments be permanently removed. I was told they weren’t part of the system records but instead just his paper file so they didn’t matter. I then relayed the comments from the second teacher to the headmaster. I told him all I knew about the school to prison pipeline for minority children. I told him that when my son had this information in his file it was automatically assumed he was a bad apple. This gave an unfair disadvantage especially because it was written by a teacher who they knew had issues an was subsequently fired. I told him all students under this teacher needed their files reviewed because as they age and the files are passed up to the next teacher the kids would never get a fair chance because the odds would be stacked against them. He said he considered himself fair and would never do that and I asked if he could guarantee not teacher would ever do that in the future. He could not and at that moment realized he needed to be different. He said no one had ever put things into perspective that way for him and he could see how some kids never get a fighting chance because of things that were in their files that lacked accompanying explanations and resolutionary type commentary. At that moment I became an even bigger advocate for my child demanding to know each year what was in his file.
It’s sad to see that the stroke of a pen can make or break a child’s future. That teacher was let go because of the way she treated the kids and hopefully, that was a lesson for her as well. For all parents, it is our job to look out for our kids as we are their voice. For teachers, it is not fair or mature to allow your emotions to overtake your ability to give fair and equal treatment to students. If we all think a little more and react a little less, we can be the best advocates in the world for all children in the education system.
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Teachers have tremendous power over their students. They can “make or break” them in regard to their future. I have taught students from grade 5 to doctoral level as well as teacher workshops in science. But I will never forget the comment one teacher made to me one day after a day long science workshop—we had become very good colleagues, having worked on various projects throughout the years. She said “Dan, you don’t remember me, but I was in your elementary science methods class (she was working on her B.S. degree in Elementary Education.) You turned me on to science.”… Read more »