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Last week I wrote about how having men in my life who weren’t afraid to tell me to “Man Up,” is the reason I never gave up and started working on my confidence. Building off that article, this week, I want to discuss the good men in my life.
I am where I am today because of the men I have in my life. Whether they are my Pastor, a mentor, a co-worker, or just a friend; they are vital people in my life that I simply couldn’t live without. When my story is written, I know each will have played a crucial role.
Influential to our success in life, is determining the people we look up to and surround ourselves. If you want to become a better man, make sure you have people in your life who refuse to let you settle. Keeping them close by will aid you tremendously, as they will motivate your pursuit of success.
As Good as A Good Woman
When you’re in a relationship with the right woman, it is as if all other aspects of your life naturally fall into place. That’s the result a virtuous woman can have on us men. Having a girlfriend or wife who provides healthy support inspires us to want to be a better man — because she sees the best in you.
Just like a good woman, having good men in your life can provide the same effect. You can lean on them when you’re facing a burden too heavy to carry on your own. They will have your back in a fight. Moreover, if you were the one in the wrong, they will call you out on your B.S.
Long story short, the quality men in your life will always be there when you need them.
Good Influences Build Character, While Negative Ones Don’t
One of the qualities that make a man good is his willingness to be a positive role model. People who spread optimism inspire others to do the same. It is vital to your character that you remove any people who are bad influences from your life.
Negative people can prevent you from being your best. During those moments when you want to give up, they will allow you to accept defeat. There can’t be any room for bad influences if you’re trying to create a positive outcome.
Good example, led by good intentions, spreads massive amounts of positivity. Negative men have no place in your life; negativity can bring the best of men down. Asking you to accept less to help their low opinions is toxic to your well-being. Not only do you have the right to cut these people out of your life, but you’ll be much better off if you do. There is no room for negativity when you’re trying to improve as a man, so cut it out.
A reoccurring mistake I made when I was younger was idealizing the wrong people. When interacting with other guys I would endure anything if it meant fitting in because I was insecure. In doing so I failed to recognize who they truly were, and that got me into a lot of trouble.
I was friends with people who were deeply flawed and didn’t care. I missed out on certain opportunities because being friends with gang members caused me to lie to myself. The more I hung around them, the more I wanted to be like them. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t a thug, I didn’t like skipping class, and I didn’t like thinking of women as mere sex objects.
However, I did all those things because I wanted to fit in. When hanging out with a guy who seems negative, hear the warning siren in your head that says, “Stop getting close to this person.” It will make a huge difference in how fulfilling your life is.
Giving Good Advice
I learned that lesson from the previous paragraph after replacing the bad guys in my life with good men. The high-quality men in my life give me constructive criticism that enables me to be better by pushing me in the right direction. Unlike the bad apples from my past, the more I hung around them, the more I wanted to be successful. Their good traits and qualities rubbed off on me, instead of the negative ones, like from the bad influences in my past.
Instead of being around negative people who complained all the time, and blamed everyone/everything for their failures, I surrounded myself with positive men who shaped my attitude for the better.
They inspired me to change my thinking, and that change in thinking helped me change my life. I learned from them why I needed to be more confident. They pointed out how not having confidence was affecting my life. They told me my lack of confidence caused me not to be fun to be around sometimes. Furthermore, they said I complained too much.
However, they didn’t say it to be hurtful. Instead of just pointing out my failures, they provided advice on what I could do to change my attitude and offered to be there to call me out when I needed it.
My Final Words
I’m pretty sure everyone reading this has heard about how men seem to be declining. I believe a big part of the failure we are seeing with young men these days can be attributed to a lack of positive influences in their life.
If you are successful and happy, take time this week to acknowledge the good men you have in your life. Get together and have a guy’s night out with them because they are part of your success.
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Photo by Nqobile Vundla on Unsplash
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