Bigger Baggage Than Carrie Bradshaw

Does dating even exist for single mums?

Trying to figure out how to date after a lifetime of lessons, zero tolerance for nonsense, doing my taxes, paying bills, and trying not to be late for the school run (at least once) is a weird place to be.

If you are reading this so far, the subject probably resonates with you. You might be a single mum, a single dad, or just single and a bit older, trying to figure out how to date in the 21st century. In the age of social media, picture-perfect people around, while the ‘’good old life’’ still exist somewhere behind the scenes.

Are we all starved of real romance?

I’ve been thinking about it recently, which led to a realisation: if I am wondering, maybe I am ready to go back to the dating scene. But then I wonder…where the hell do I start.

It’s been 15 years since I went on a date. A few things have probably changed since. I am not saying it was prehistoric era, but dating apps hadn’t been invented yet, and people actually met in real life.

So, let’s explore…

Dating apps — I feel about them a bit like Leslie Jones described on The Drew Barrymore Show. She joked that the dating landscape is so overwhelming that it might be easier to put all the profiles together in a single app and see “what’s left” to choose from.

Because let’s be honest: the older we get, the smaller the ‘’dating pool’’ becomes, and you never really know who is married or not, which complicates things. The last time I was single, people around me were too, which made things a lot easier.

The funny thing is, I’m realising my brain must have frozen at the age I last dated — because when I look around now, I’m genuinely a bit shocked at what my age group has to offer.

What other option do we have, though?

Meeting online: Facebook, Instagram, possibly Substack…I don’t know how you feel about it, but as a proud Millennial, I feel far behind all this technology. Let’s be honest, we still use it, but we are far cry from the abilities of Gen Z. And I won’t even try to comment on the newest addition to the world, Gen Alpha — the kids who scare us with technology advancements.

We’ve obviously missed a few software updates along the way. Plus, as kids raised on real conversations and effort, we remember that ghosting was considered rude, not a lifestyle. So how the hell are we meant to meet someone who not only understands but can also handle the heavy baggage we carry?

The only hope I have is that there are still some emotionally mature Millennials who are quietly horrified by the current dating scene. Maybe the good news is we are not outdated — we’re just from a generation that remembers dating without emotional whiplash.

We come from an era where when something broke, we tried to fix it, not abandon it on the spot. And that’s a little reassuring — maybe meeting someone in the old-fashioned way is still possible.

You know, the look into someone’s eyes, a smile, human conversation…that kind of thing.

So here I am holding out hope that somewhere, someone remembers how to date without a swipe.

With love

Patrycja

If this made you pause, reflect, or breathe a little deeper — that’s enough. You’re welcome to stay and follow for more.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.