—
Men who are willing to feel make this a better world, while men unwilling to feel can destroy our world.
As I saw the President of the United States make fun of the tears of Senator Chuck Schumer recently, I’m reminded that we are indeed at a time of new beginnings and opportunities. Will we collectively be willing to feel, or will we stuff it all down? Of all the things our country needs, a bully in the White House isn’t one of them.
Schumer got emotional and teary while speaking about the President’s travel ban, calling it “mean-spirited and un-American.”
The next day Trump said, “I’m going to ask him who was his acting coach, because I know him very well. I don’t see him as a crier.” He added, “There’s about a 5% chance that it was real, but I think they were fake tears.”
I don’t know Senator Schumer very well, but I’ve seen him in tears speaking before. I admire his sensitivity and willingness to show his emotions. That is they type of politician I want representing me. With literal life and death issues being considered, our leaders should have some emotion about what they are doing and be comfortable enough to express them. I encourage more men to take a stand emotionally, regardless of Trump’s research into the probability of real or fake tears.
◊♦◊
That same day I was struck by Tom Brady tearing up when answering a question at Super Bowl Opening Night festivities. The question, “Many people say you’re their hero, but who’s your hero?” came from a 7-year-old boy. The boy, Joseph Perez, won a contest to be there and he asked the one question that got an emotional reaction from Tom.
“Who’s my hero? That’s a great question. I think my dad is my hero, because he’s someone I look up to every day, and uh…” Brady said, drifting off as his eyes welled with tears. He looked down, fiddled with his microphone for a moment, and looked back at the young reporter for a day before adding “My dad.” See the video here. It is these moments of authenticity that make me think so highly of Tom Brady rather than any of his football stats.
Is the Internet already ablaze with people making fun of Brady for crying? Certainly. Would people do that if it was their dad, son, husband, brother or best friend? I doubt it.
In the past, I have made fun of guys for crying too. That was because mocking someone else was so much easier than looking at my own emotions. A man in tears can be a man at his bravest, at his most authentic, and his most powerful. It is not a man to ridicule, and I believe anyone who does is only ridiculing themselves.
In 2009, the Dalai Lama said, “The world will be saved by the western woman.” I don’t doubt that, but if more men were willing to feel – to fully feel all of their emotions – the world might not be in such need of saving.
Photo credit: Getty Images
Thank you for sharing this with us, Andy. I am grateful to attend a men’s group each week. One of our frequent topics centers on men and feelings/emotions. It was interesting and revealing, that when the question was posed last fall, “Did you ever see your dad cry,” only a very few had. I did once. My dad cried at his favorite uncle’s funeral when TAPS was played. That was it. The major emotion that I saw from him was anger and rage. With my three children, I am trying hard to not repeat that cycle, though my own children… Read more »
Thank you for doing your best to pass down a new way. Yes, tears do us all a lot of good.
I think it was less about a man crying, and more about how just over a year ago he said this: “We must tighten loopholes in the Visa Waiver prgm, ensure passports can’t be faked & stop terrorists who want to exploit the system.” He said that in support of the same bill that named the countries in Trump’s ban.
More great contribution Andy!