Whether you’re post-breakup or just pre-relationship, Matt Shumate wants you to know the benefits of being by yourself for a while.
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One is the loneliest number … well, not so much. Let’s call it addition by subtraction.
After a breakup, you feel like you may never find another person to “complete you” in the Jerry McGuire sense of the phrase. You yearn for the next companion to lay by your side.
You fear being that single guy at the group dinner. The third, fifth, or even 7th wheel. You dread not having someone to come back home to at the end of the day.
What if you could see that life as a single person has some pretty awesome benefits that are often overlooked?
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But, what if you didn’t feel compelled to seek that companionship right away? What if you could see that life as a single person has some pretty awesome benefits that are often overlooked?
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As you start renewing your own unique identity independent of your ex, it’s critical to spend some time single, rediscovering yourself and having some fun with your newly found liberty.
Think about it … you can do whatever you want. How many times do you recall not being able to see the movie you had been dying to watch or go to the restaurant you had a craving for?
Now, you can act on whatever urges you have (within reason, of course). Spontaneity can be your best friend. Want to take a weekend trip down to Key West? What’s holding you back? Go with the flow of life and enjoy the random opportunities that arise. They’re often the ones you will remember the most.
Time is one of the most invaluable commodities in the world. When you are single, you have boatloads of it. Pick up a new hobby, learn a different language, or invest more time into your business and career.
Single people are more likely to eat right and exercise well. Just look at the “Dad Bod” for instance. Single guys want to put the best possible version of themselves out there, so you’re more likely to eat clean and hit the gym more consistently than coming home to a fresh pan of newly baked brownies.
When you’re in a committed relationship, other friendships often fall by the wayside when you’re overly infatuated with your partner.
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The way you interact with people around you becomes completely different as well. When you’re in a committed relationship, other friendships often fall by the wayside when you’re overly infatuated with your partner.
As a single guy, you keep in touch with old friends more often and spark up new conversations with random people at the bar or supermarket. You meet—and engage with—such a variety of people who can enrich your life in numerous ways.
There’s an obvious carryover from that notion to the dating scene. You can go out with such a diverse array of people, personalities, and body types.
On the flip side, you can rid your life of the toxic relationships that have been holding you back. Maybe it was your in-laws you just couldn’t stand being around or her best friend who inflicted negativity into every conversation.
You can’t pick your family, but you sure as hell can pick your friends and the people you surround yourself with, and when you’re single you have more freedom to make that clan have as positive an impact on your life as possible.
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So next time you see that couple at the bar who seems to have it all together, don’t view them with jealously or despair. Odds are, a part of him envies the independence you have as a bachelor.
Take the time to enjoy single life, embrace the freedom, focus on enriching and loving yourself, and most importantly enjoy having the whole bed to yourself for a while!
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
“You can pick your friends and the people who surround you….”
Words of wisdom…people ask my 15 yo son if he has a girlfriend….we just chuckle and say that he doesn’t need one…he is fine as he is….he is still focused on himself, his guitar, photography, and school….he has plenty of friends and has no trouble hanging out and talking to girls….we always tell him he is a terrific as he is….
It is really hard being cheated on, even past the anger, there is this guilt which fills up of ‘where did I go wrong, that she did this?’ An honest confession, I have googled thousands of pages dealing with post breakups, but none fascinate me anymore. It’s really easier said than done.
Stay strong, my friend. If there’s anything I can help out with, don’t hesitate to email me. [email protected]
-Matt