Q: Society bombards us with instructions to be happier, fitter and richer. Why have we become so dissatisfied with being ordinary?
A: There is a part of the human that would never be satisfied to be ordinary. It never was and it never will. The question is not “why?”, the question is “what?” is this part of us? How to meet and “satisfy” it?
The question of “What is this part of us, which drives our desire for perfection?” (as well as the rest of our “desires”), has been explored since time in memorial by philosophy and religion. Science is trying to take a stride in the same direction… We are trying to do GMO, get out in space, do amazing things with the human body, create AI, and even replicate and gestate life. It is quite amazing. We are not ordinary for sure. But who asks the real question and looks within? What is this which in us, which creates? We look outside and we run around looking for answers to how to be “non-ordinary” (or perfect).
Q: How does the pressure to achieve perfection impact our mental health and overall well-being?
A: The pressure to achieve perfection impacts us on many levels. Mentally it can lead to anxiety, fear, and depression, even suicide. On an interpersonal level it can create friction due to expecting both ourselves and others to meet unrealistic expectations. In business it can lead to freezing and failure.
Q: What are the underlying factors or societal trends that have contributed to the rise of perfectionism in recent years?
A: This is a trend of the human mind. My perspective is that you would not find an answer by exploring this subject intellectually. The human mind always looks for perfection, for the difficult and for goals, which remain on the horizon and can never be achieved. To realize that as reality one needs to start meditating. Meditation gives space from the mind and then we can see it for what it is and what its patterns are.
What is happening in the recent years is that technology both speeds everything up and it brings the tendencies of the human mind (which have always been there) to the surface, as we all interconnected and now for the first time in history have the ability to express our opinions freely (with exceptions of countries where social media is banned, as we are aware of) and instantaneously. The essence of the human mind, as I shared in my perception, is to keep a goal alive (perfection is easy!!!), so it will never die. Once again, to understand that process, one needs to find a way to be able to see that there is more to a human being than the mind. Meditation is only one of the tools, but the most effective one.
Q: Are there any positive aspects to perfectionism, or is it always detrimental to our happiness and contentment?
A: No, not to perfectionism.
Yet, to understand this, one must ask what is perfectionism?
However, there are other aspects/attitudes which could be confused with perfectionism, which are positive. For instance, discrimination and doubt.
Discrimination allows us to distinguish and polish skills and projects so to speak, to identify truth from lie, etc.
Doubt helps to question ideas.
There is another aspect of human capacity, which perfectionism can mask as and also get in the way of. This is creativity. And creativity is both the cure and answer to perfectionism. Allowing human creativity to flourish is the culprit for becoming that which we seek by trying to be perfect. Who is perfect? What is perfect? If we ask deeper, there is only one answer. And it is religious. But this question and looking directly at it will also stir many people, as everybody has a different religious inclination. So, I am not even diving deeper into it for the purpose of answering your question. I will come back to creativity and finish with that. The individual expression of creativity would allow for the positive expression of “perfectionism”, as one starts to create, they have no time for perfectionism, as so much wants to be born through each of us. And then “perfectionism” gets re-purposed as discrimination, which starts to serve the creative individual expression.
Q: What strategies or techniques can individuals use to break free from the perfectionism trap and find greater satisfaction with their lives?
A: Creativity is the only real solution. See above 🙂
One can also start practicing meditation and develop awareness. My observation is that perfectionism masks fear of acting and failure. Once one starts creating, one realizes that everybody is creative, thus there is no reason to compare to oneself or another. One can see that as they continue working on their craft/art (business or traditional creative outlets, and even their relationships), one becomes a conduit for something bigger, which is unnamed. Discernment comes only to help understand when one is disconnected from that creative flow or tired (and when we are, we get into habits and patterns, such as self criticism and we get in the way or ourselves).
Q: Should we cultivate a healthier mindset and embrace the idea of being “good enough” rather than constantly striving for perfection? How?
A: Mindset is a product of the mind. So, creating any mindset is not a real solution. What does “good enough” mean in any way? Who defines it? By whose standards are we “good enough”?
If we try to become good enough, we are actually never going to fully unfold as individuals. We will remain mediocre, thus that hunger, I referred to earlier, will remain unsatiated.
The only way to understand perfection is to see it for what it is. The only medicine is to become fully oneself and start creating from within. This is an art to learn. Then one becomes both an artist of life and a masterpiece of a living human being. And each human being is a different masterpiece. In a sense each of us is a Michelangelo, creating our own David and we have to look at the David within the marble stone and chisel away the marble. In that process, perfectionism melts.
Q: What to expect in the future?
A: The future is always the same as the past unless we transform.
History always repeats itself. If we want a different future, we must start creating it from within.
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Previously Published on Medium
(Interview with Milena Dishovska (aka Milena Devi, Republished from “Metro International” Newspaper)
