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Loneliness has much more to do with the kind of company we keep than with the absence of someone by our side. We can feel lonely even in the midst of crowds, even if we’re surrounded by friends, even if we have a partner living with us. That’s because people can be nearby but not truly together; they can be physically close but emotionally distant. That’s loneliness all the same.
Loneliness is being next to someone who doesn’t notice us, doesn’t value us, doesn’t talk to us, or doesn’t genuinely care about our lives. It’s waking up hoping for at least a glance, a word, an invitation; it’s feeling the coldness of emptiness our hands find when searching for the hands of someone we love without getting a response.
Loneliness is spending the day waiting in vain for a message of affection and consideration, a phone call, a sign of affection, any kind of tenderness. It’s not receiving anything in return while giving, dedicating, and wholeheartedly surrendering, while nurturing attachment to what was promised, to the words and promises spoken back then or just yesterday.
Loneliness is looking at the horizon and not seeing new paths, dreaming of false hopes, clinging to a past that had no future, waiting for each tomorrow with hopelessness, with teary eyes seeing only no’s. It’s maintaining unsustainable expectations, relying on utopia to survive without succumbing to discouragement and bitterness of defeat, of the bankruptcy of feelings.
Loneliness is absence from oneself, as if distancing oneself from everything that hurts, injures, resents, in an attempt to escape from a suffocating void that cries out for actions and changes we stubbornly avoid. It’s living in a past that was better and surviving on a future that has no chance of materializing. Loneliness is sadness, abandonment, it’s the lack of what we have without possessing, of what we see without existing.
Therefore, we all have to be very sure about what we want from our lives, about the kind of love and friendships that make us feel good, so that we don’t accept crumbs from those who don’t give a damn about our feelings. It’s difficult to break definitively with what harms us, however, freeing ourselves from what is useless and harmful will be one of the best ways to achieve the complete and true happiness that we all deserve in life, with or without someone by our side.
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© 2024 Lost in My Soul
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Light and Love from my Soul to Yours! 🤍
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Candice Picard on Unsplash