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When I was eight years old, my brother accidentally hit me with a pitch while playing baseball in the backyard. Positively irate, I came after him with the bat. Had he not made it into the house first, I might have done irreparable damage done that day.
We have all had moments when the world is much too much, and you feel the need to lash out. Hitting can feel cathartic — the huge release of energy right at the peak of your discomfort is quite the rush. But if you’ve never learned to control yourself in those heated moments, your outburst can be truly traumatic to those around you.
Most of us learned not to hit when we were young boys, but this rule was often accompanied by addenda and exceptions. As long as you do not hit a person, we’ll let it slide. If they hit you first, you won’t get suspended. If you were standing up to someone then it is probably okay. But we never tell young boys that once they grow up, the rules change. If you punch someone as an adult, regardless of circumstance, you could face serious social and legal implications. Furthermore, the fallout from a physical outburst can leave those around you scared and upset beyond repair, even if you did not mean any harm.
We all have moments where we are not our best selves; it is tragic and beautiful and human all at once to make mistakes. That said, there is a shocking prevalence of grown men in media, sports, and everyday life who have let those mistakes define them. Thrown chairs, punched walls, and bruises are all images that will never be forgotten, even if they are forgiven. Failure to control your own impulses as an adult is not just irresponsible — it is unacceptable.
If you are the kind of person who lets their temper go too far, it is on you to seek the help you need. Begin mindfulness practice, therapy, or whatever else you need to do in order to remove physical violence from the realm of possibility.
Thankfully, my brother walked away unscathed from “Bat-Gate” 15 years ago. If we replayed the scene today, I’d like to think my reaction would be different. Deep breaths, bat down, time to self-soothe. Heck, I might even trot to first base.
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Photo courtesy iStock.