They put me in a four walled room / But left me really out / My soul was tossed somewhere askew / My limbs were tossed here about –Marsha Linehan, founder of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
I sat outside of a room
with padded walls
& listened to someone
who almost bit my arm
hex me through the door.
It’s odd to watch the hibiscus,
when it’s light out, open
& then, for the night, watch it close
as though it’s sleeping,
as though in the morning
I kept the door shut
but still I listened for each spell.
The hum of the fluorescent lights
while I waited for them
There are so many scratches
on those walls.
Do you want the light on or off?
Give them a choice, give them control.
After I caught one spell with my hands,
feeling its cold sweat in my palms,
I used heavy breaths to send it back
& she took one bite
then swallowed it whole:
When I heard your screams
I thought, This. Is suffering.
I thought, I know so little.
I thought, Attack me. Release yourself.
I can hold you.
Fuck you, she said. Bitch.
Turn it off.
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